The new Spammo 5000 is all up in your business - Touch It!

[Huntress]

i will ponder on it...?

[PonderThis]

Wow has it ever been a while since I last cleaned out that junk mail out of the catch-all account. See, I had been accessing it from our host's web mail interface so that I wouldn't get it mixed up with my regular mail. But for some reason the web interface stopped working last fall and I couldn't get to it.

So today I finally decided to just hook it up and access it like my regular company mail. Set up various rules so that known spam stuff goes straight to the "Spam" folder while stuff addressed specifically to me goes to a "Good" folder. Then I look over everything that gets past both and ends up in the regular in box which so far is only a small percentage of the whole. Which is a good thing because Outlook shows it is currently on message 13,500 out of 189,000!!!

Here's a culling from what has made it to the In Box so far:

■■情報無料入手■■
新宿三丁目ファンデリです。 (from Ｆｕｎ－Ｄｅｌｉ)
2011 CompStudy - Survey of Private Company Exec Compensation
Guard your loved ones. Insure their life.
You have 1 lost message on Facebook...
000l
On vacation message
I have graduated
Natures Way Refunds
Check out my photos on Facebook
See the world through new windows
Uncover the Benefits of a Business Phone System
Track employee time and attendance
Reminder about your invitation from Israel Lewis
Wings
Fabulous Friday Specials
Enroll in a beauty school near you.
Impress your clients with a business phone
Information on doctorate programs
Find criminal justice classes
Track employee hours
Midweek Markdowns at Christianbook.com
bigWebApps HelpDesk Back Online
Learn how you could create the next trend.

[badplantmommy]

I just noticed that last spammer had "hare loss treatment" as their sig line. Did somebody lose a rabbit?

[PonderThis]

Maaan so very little usable subject lines! Here's one, maybe I'll find more while sifting through the garbage. EDIT: A few more. EDIT: A few more more.

10 Questions to Ask When Choosing an ERP solution
[Police information system]
[E-Police information system]
Get Matched to Multiple Phone Vendors
Higher education just got more convenient
Need a new office phone system?
Relieve Debt and live life without worry.
Could not load a valid user
3.25% APR Refi - 100% Trusted Lenders
The govt bailing is working for home owners
drop me a line
Ready to speak multiple languages?
Sister Study

[PonderThis]

This set of three that came in all together just seem so sad to me for some reason:

want my pics?
it`s me again
my pics for you

And some more:

Tact
Pension
Rascal

Here's an autoresponse that actually has potential:

(autoresponse) gap is on vacation

[PonderThis]

OK, here's a bunch of Russian spam along with their google translations.

Biglion - скидки на такси в Москве (discounts on taxi in Moscow)
Не удается доставить: Аренда офиса с отличным дисконтом! (Unable to deliver: Rent an office with a great discount!)
ОФОРМЛЕНИЕ ВИЗЫ - 4 ДНЯ (БЕЗ ЗАПИСИ) (ISSUE VISAS - 4 DAYS (NO RECORD))
Прямая аренда офисов! Метро - Марьина Роща (Direct office rental! Subway - Marina Grove)
Продам несколько своих участков . Недорого. Подмосковье! (Selling some of their sites. Inexpensive. Moscow!)
Строительство ДОМОВ! В сентябре ПРОЕКТ и СМЕТА в ПОДАРОК! (Construction of houses! In September of projects and estimates for FREE!)
Срочно продаю участки. Недорого. Подмосковье! (Urgent sell land. Inexpensive. Moscow!)

[PonderThis]

OK, last batch, here's actually a few in English:

Digital Microscope 1.3 Mega Pixels with Measurement
Delphi Evangelists Coming to Your Desktop
Access all the local singles for 7 days
Featured on CNN, ABC & CBS. Acai Berry
Global PaaS Market 2010-2014
I dream about you. Not repel me, please.

[PonderThis]

And this one is ... Chinese? Japanese? Both?

全缘叶醉鱼草

Chinese: Buddleja entire edge of the leaf
Japanese: All grass 缘叶 醉鱼
Combo: All grass entire edge of the leaf?

[PonderThis]

ЛИСТ, ТРУБЫ, СОРТОВОЙ ПРОКАТ НЕРЖАВЕЮЩИЙ И ЦВЕТНОЙ (SHEETS, TUBES, LONG PRODUCTS STAINLESS AND COLOR)
Бесплатная оценка стоимости Вашей квартиры или дома. (Free valuation of your apartment or house.)

[PonderThis]

Business Intelligence Success: A Best-in-Class Benchmarking Study
Pearl Jewelry - only $15

[PonderThis]

No more time cards!
Hey I thought you might like this |

That's it for English subject lines. The rest is a shitload of Russian.

ШЕНГЕНСКИЕ ВИЗЫ!
Поможем с налоговой. Легально исключим фирму из реестров
Ваше сообщение в список рассылки customers-all ожидает обработки модератора
Участки в готовом поселке Оборенское поместье. Все готово!
Аренда офисов от собственника для Вас! Низкая цена

Google says:
SCHENGEN VISA!
We will help with tax. Legally exclude a company from the register
Your message to the mailing list customers-all is pending moderator
Sites in the final settlement of the estate Oborenskoe. You're done!
Office lease for you! Low price

[PonderThis]

Finally Get Thin with HCG
Wall Decals - only $7
Get a personalized life insurance quote
Belive

[PonderThis]

Reverse mortgage information
WEBSTUFF: confirmation required (8443D1DC)

And the Russian backspamming continues:
ОПЕРАТИВНАЯ ПОЛИГРАФИЯ ПО НИЗКИМ ЦЕНАМ
Визы ВСЕМ!
Доставка отложена:Продаю участок со всеми коммуникациями в 30 км от МКАД.
Продаю участок со всеми коммуникациями в 30 км от МКАД.
Уведомление о состоянии доставки (сбой)

Googleslated to:
RAPID PRINTING FOR LOW PRICES
VISA TO ALL!
Delivery delayed: Sale of land with all utilities, 30 km from Moscow.
Sale of land with all utilities, 30 km from Moscow.
Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

[PonderThis]

Find a broad choice of Retirement Communities near you
Resolve the issue

[PonderThis]

Another Monday, another batch of weekend spam:

No more tallying time cards
Re: FW: End of Aug. Stat. required
Stop Users from Making Unauthorized Changes to their PCs
Photo Greeting Cards - 53% off
Pool remodel quote
Banking security update.

And I don't usually post bounce-backs but this one was too entertaining to ignore:

Returned mail: /home/science/lab03/igor/.forward: line 1: /dev/null... User igor@geophys.geol.msu.ru doesn't have a valid shell for mailing to files

[PonderThis]

Re: FW: End of Aug. Statement
Dear Friends & Fliers...
Beverage Charm Variety Pack - 50% off

And now: More fun with Russian!

GSM СИГНАЛИЗАЦИЯ УВЕДОМЛЕНИЕ И УПРАВЛЕНИЕ ПО СМС
Снимем вирyсные, корпоративные и рекламные ролики, репортажные видео и музыкальные клипы.
Сдаётся помещение под автосервис в МОСКВЕ!
новая процедура по претензии

Google says:
GSM ALARM NOTIFICATION AND MANAGEMENT FOR SMS
Will remove virysnye, corporate and promotional videos, video reportage, and music videos.
Rent a car wash premises in MOSCOW!
a new procedure for claims

[PonderThis]

Starting off the week with just one:

Further your education with a path to a degree.

[EDIT] A few more:

The new Drobo B1200i for business - who can touch it?
Join us for our Fall Event at Parkway Plastic Surgery

[PonderThis]

Take criminal justice classes
FROM BEAUTY Williams You Urgnt Reply
Bake Pops double offer
From the Voice of the Contractor
Contact our bathroom remodeling experts
Recession discounts could save you hundreds on auto insurance
Weekend special
Two days left

More Russian spam:
Продается участок 15 соток в КП по Киевскому шоссе.
Пряма аренда офисов -центр, дешево!
Участки по Симферопольскому шоссе. Горячее предложение!
Годовые Шенгенские визы!
Официальная ликвидация фирмы. Навсегда!

Googleslations in order:
Plot for sale 15 hectare in manual on the Kiev highway.
Direct office rental center, cheap!
Lots of Simferopol highway. Hot offer!
Annual Schengen visas!
The official liquidation of the company. Forever!

And now for something completely Chinese:
254833销售精英＜2天一夜疯＜狂训练793031
googleslates as:
254833 elite sale <2 days crazy night <mad training 793031

[PonderThis]

New Apple macbooks auctioning under Hundred Bucks

[PonderThis]

Having Trouble with the Bank?
Federal Fund Rates have dropped!
The City Officially Launches Sunday!
Westinghouse & Feit Liquidation
Get a $1,000 Walmart Reward!
iPads Sold For $76.13!
Compresses into stackable cube for simple storing
Super Sunday Nights - Boo Moore
Design Degrees
4th Quarter is here – per message
Performance Reviews - lessons from Farmville!
Stop Interrupting Users for Basic IT Maintenance
Business Relationship Needed
$45 for 45

That last one is ostensibly from the Republican National Committee (RNC) if someone wants to play that angle.

[PonderThis]

Info on loans for students like yourself.
Produce Washing Set - only $17
vfo

nirn如果您是一位行政负责人，欠缺专业工具如何自信面对员工？sj2 becomes
nirn If you are an administrative charge, how confident to face the lack of professional tools for employees? sj2

Be Wrinkle Free for the Holidays!
Webinar: How 3 Businesses Excelled by Moving to Cloud ERP
Needed: 2 Positions left working from home

[PonderThis]

The Shortage of Nurses Everywhere
Electrical Training for everyone
Digital Cable. DVR. All in one place
Custom Framed Print - 56% off
PMP Workshop = 35 pdu
Accepting calls all weekend
Help Us Understand Your Storage Requirements
No drives? No problem thanks to Drobo
dq7v3
Professional Hair Products - 69% off
View Your 3 Credit Scores Fast
Join the GOP Mobile Army
Custom Stickers - 50% off
Save 80% on Hand Rolled Premium Cigars
Profession quality ceramic slicing knife
Classic Television on DVD - 50% off
Bake Pops double offer

[PonderThis]

Food chopper slices your kitchen prep time in half
Issue 11.10.2011: The Best Word in B2B Sales Negotiating Is No - n-Tier Releases AccessPoint for iPad - Small Business Bills Pass House
Santa's Workshop
2012 SS Disability Info
Bill payment canceled
Features strong soft mesh with cool air flow design
Katy Perry's Secret to Clear Skin
2012 Free Visitors Pass to DirectBuy Ready
Self-Esteeming Boosting Book - only $12
Data regarding staying well.
Teeth Whitening Pen - only $8
Once Upon a Story: This Weekend!
Lightbulb Liquidation
LIQUIDATION " LEVITON , COOPER , ARROW HART ,PASS & SEYMOUR "
WTB Motherboards USED
Personalized Singing Teddy Bear - 50% off
Wednesday's Michigan Debate
5 Monitoring Tools for the Price of None
No valid comment found
Exact is expanding it's Sales Channel take this opportunity to learn more!
GQHA Day at UGA Equestrian Meet on Friday
Your new smile has never been more affordable
[Spam:6.9 SpamScore] Mike

[PonderThis]

How about some Chinese spam (as translated by google of course)?

销.售.精.英.2.天.一.夜.疯.狂.训.练----秦清杰
Off. Sale. Fine. British .2. Days. 1. night. Crazy. Crazy. Training. Practice ---- Qin Qingjie

【销 售 精 英 简 直 不 是 “人”，是 “神 人”】
[Sales elite is simply not "human" and "God"]

ju对于以创新为主的公司，或者知识型的公司，应该如何制定KPI？
ju for the company based on innovation, or knowledge-based companies, how to develop KPI?

[PonderThis]

And now for some cutting edge topical spam:

Sports opinion survey. Should Joe Pa Have Been Fired? Get a $250 Visa Gift Card See details.