The hilarious spam thread

What? You like other sites besides Spamusement? Unacceptable!

The hilarious spam thread

Postby Nik » Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:09 pm

I don't know if we ever had one of these, but we do now.
I'll start it off.



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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby JD-Rom » Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:28 pm

Organis sounds like a cheesy name for a plant monster and/or a decent name for a powerful Alderaan family. :D
One of my sites: Click!
kupo wrote:I want a true ganster style fedora. Not the kind that looks like a floppy penis version.

Ooh, and another one: Click!
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Postby PonderThis » Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:30 pm

The king of bad, eh? Isn't that Michael Jackson? :|
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Postby EvilJekyll » Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:40 pm

Slight variation:
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gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby Saltine » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:29 pm

Your banana is too small.
YOU ARE A SPOON!

wait
--Saltine
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Postby EvilJekyll » Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:40 pm

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gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby Nik » Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:31 pm

Good morning,



My name is Sergey Markov. I am a manager of Magic PC Company.

Our company are reselling goods in Russia (Notebooks, digital cameras and etc)



Often our clients prefer buy goods directly from US stores it more cheap then

buy in Local russian shops. But most USA shops and stores not ship orders oversears.

So we are offerring mail forwarding service for our clients.



Quantity of orders from USA stores grows every day. So we need more partners in USA

for order processing.



We would like to offer the perspective partnership to you. We propose a vacancy of the

regional agent. The average salary will be about $2000-4500 monthly.





Correspondence manager regional agent

Job description: - Mail Forwarding



Requirements:

- Home Computer with e-mail account and ability to check your e-mail

box at least twice a day;

- Adults only accepted (we cannot hire underage people);

- Contact phone

- Ability to handle packages weight up to 20 pounds(get them to the post office).





If you interested in this partnership please email me : sergey.markov@live.com

Then I will email you all information about this vacancy



Best regards

Sergey Markov
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby EvilJekyll » Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:46 pm

Wha?
Janell@sual.com wrote:You won't have to apologize for her staying dissatisfied anymore!
Bring about what you really want! [link to penis enlargement]

violence was not a response to anti-Semitism. Indeed, Miklas Hornstronghold over Europe in time to save Hungarys Jews?the childs self-confidence, assuring him that, just as the father had, the the childs self-confidence, assuring him that, just as the father had, theviolence was not a response to anti-Semitism. Indeed, Miklas Hornstronghold over Europe in time to save Hungarys Jews?
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby Binkatron5000 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 2:27 pm

I AM GOD DAG, HEAR ME ROAR!

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James wrote:I honestly have no idea whether I'm more fruity or plural.

ntw3001 wrote:Is the tattoooed black sperm squirming out of my mouth, or am I sensually nibbling its tail? I don't remember my 21st birthday party.
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Postby chrismachine » Mon Apr 21, 2008 5:37 pm

bell rope!!!! hahahahahaha
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Veepa wrote:Very wise words, Master Tiny Legs.
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Postby ntw3001 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:40 am

My dissertation featured a bell rope. A snake climbed up it and killed the victim or something. Little did Sir Arthur Conan Doyle know, russell's viper can't possibly climb in such a way! But surely the application of Walton's reality principle in such a case would surely be wrong, as it would subvert the intention of the author (o no)! And so forth. My dissertation was less good than it could have been.
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Postby loofah » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:19 am

So you've finished it at this point? Are you done with school now?
Saltine wrote:This is all logically consistent, but the artist does not go on to explain that you love Hitler. See, this is why logicians don't write popular music.
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Postby James » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:57 am

He probably has exams for most of his modules left to do. If Philosophy at Lancaster is anything like how it was a couple of years ago. THREE YEARS. Bloody hell.
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Postby PonderThis » Tue Apr 22, 2008 2:46 pm

James wrote:THREE YEARS. Bloody hell.
Hey, time passes. Best to be philosophical about it.
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Postby ntw3001 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:56 pm

loofah wrote:So you've finished it at this point? Are you done with school now?


Just three exams left. But they're not for a few weeks, so I get to lounge around and do nothing, which is nice. Now I know how people who work more than twenty days a year feel.
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Postby giantsfan97 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:18 pm

ntw3001 wrote:lounge around and do nothing


= playing wow
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby Binkatron5000 » Sat May 10, 2008 6:01 pm

Image

"Work against the whigs" sounds like a new slogan for anti-Donald Trumps, or something.
James wrote:I honestly have no idea whether I'm more fruity or plural.

ntw3001 wrote:Is the tattoooed black sperm squirming out of my mouth, or am I sensually nibbling its tail? I don't remember my 21st birthday party.
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Postby sum yun gai » Sat May 10, 2008 7:23 pm

my personal favorite is "i have put your dressingcase under your seat. with the fishermen." :)
ntw3001 wrote:Sass has to come from the heart, not from the shirt.


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Postby Gelatine Cow » Sun May 11, 2008 12:37 am

I like that you blanked out your email even though it's in your profile for your MSN contact. Or perhaps it's a secondary SECRET email.
And that's terrible.
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Postby kzager » Sun May 11, 2008 1:18 am

Too bad, too. I was going to e-mail them about really annoying things. I'd maybe send about 100 in the course of a month.

But, alas, blotted out.
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Postby Mimiheart » Sun May 11, 2008 1:10 pm

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Made ya look.
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Postby Skimba » Tue May 27, 2008 12:53 pm

Subject: Inkcycle - New Password
From: Randy Frazier [nialcorey@diploms.com]

He tried to blame it on the missing n, but he'd had that to contend with before, and, really, what was a missing n compared to a missing foot and now, as an extra added attraction, a missing thumb?

10 V`iagara + 10 C`ialias=$74.80
Avialable for Females too!

Click hereee: http://hasparts.net

A look of sincere concentration was good because it flattered them, and when editors were flattered, they would sometimes give in on some of their mad ideas.
Listen very carefully and don't interrupt, because I don't know how much time I have.
but life was so rickin'-frackin' untidy — what could you say for an existence where some of the most crucial conversations of your life took place when you needed to take a poopcakes, or something?
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Postby kzager » Tue May 27, 2008 2:07 pm

Did they just quote Misery?

The typewriter with the missing N. The foot that got cut off with an axe and then torched. The thumb that got cut off with a electric turkey knife.
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Postby MysticalDescent » Tue May 27, 2008 2:33 pm

In response to the one a few days ago that I missed:

Work against the Whigs? I'll work against the whigs, I'll rickin'-frackin' kill that Earl Grey bastard.
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Postby James » Wed May 28, 2008 5:49 pm

DON'T LET HER LAUGH.

Menacing.
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