The hilarious spam thread

What? You like other sites besides Spamusement? Unacceptable!

Postby mrgazpacho » Thu May 29, 2008 5:35 am

draculahunter wrote:Did they just quote Misery?


I believe it's a common tactic nowadays to try to fool Bayesian spam filters.
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Postby Skimba » Thu May 29, 2008 1:28 pm

Subject: more on the beach
From: Chang Kruse [nutqqo@bouchardcooperages.com]

1. Find a girl
2. Invite her to your appartments
3. Use subject product V (or C)
4. Have fun
5. Take her number
6. Profit?

More details -> http://logwhole.com
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Postby loofah » Thu May 29, 2008 3:08 pm

Skimba wrote: 3. Use subject product V (or C)
Vowel _or_ Consonant?! Does he think we're that easy?
Saltine wrote:This is all logically consistent, but the artist does not go on to explain that you love Hitler. See, this is why logicians don't write popular music.
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Postby kzager » Thu May 29, 2008 3:23 pm

loofah wrote:
Skimba wrote: 3. Use subject product V (or C)
Vowel _or_ Consonant?! Does he think we're that easy?

Your hair is very H today.
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Postby katzenkoenig » Thu May 29, 2008 4:58 pm

very hyphen?
Skimba wrote:And she laughed and laughed...'cause she knew she wasn't wearing any pants.
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Postby EvilJekyll » Thu May 29, 2008 6:20 pm

I thought Vaginal or C-word.
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
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Postby Zombie Protestor » Thu May 29, 2008 7:10 pm

Knowing spammers, it's "Viagra (or Cialis)".
This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.
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Postby loofah » Thu May 29, 2008 9:14 pm

Zombie Protestor wrote:Knowing spammers, it's "Viagra (or Cialis)".
That's what I assumed it was.
Saltine wrote:This is all logically consistent, but the artist does not go on to explain that you love Hitler. See, this is why logicians don't write popular music.
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Postby Saltine » Fri May 30, 2008 8:43 am

vole or chinchilla
--Saltine
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Postby MysticalDescent » Fri May 30, 2008 5:53 pm

Vaccination or constipation.
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Postby sum yun gai » Fri May 30, 2008 8:06 pm

maybe V and C are referring to the hand gestures one places over one's mouth when engaging in conversation with said girls
ntw3001 wrote:Sass has to come from the heart, not from the shirt.


traubster wrote:I find it irritating whenever I walk through a cemetery and there's not one gravestone that reads something like, "We're all grateful that he's dead. Sorry if he owed you money."
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Postby Dusk » Sat May 31, 2008 11:26 pm

CHALLENGING people to read hilarious spams may be amusing.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.
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Postby EvilJekyll » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:33 pm

Title: Your administrator, Atieno Ainsworth. Urgent!
Spammer wrote:Hallo eviljekyll!

Last time you've asked me about Canadian pharmacy shops.

After some researches I can surely say that MyCanadianPharmacy

drug store sells high-quality medications only. There is no need to be

aware of quality. Their medications are the same we have here in USA.

But they give us opportunity to buy these meds at lower prices.

cjfugq.roledbintel.net/?12332417

I recommend to buy medications at their drug store!


Also:
Spam Title: Fake Screenshots and bogus testimonials
Spammer wrote:The nearest star to Earth is the Sun, which is the source of most A star is a massive, luminous ball of plasma. of the energy on Earth. Other stars are visible in the night sky, when they are not outshone by the Sun. For most of its life, a star shines because thermonuclear fusion in its core releases energy that traverses the star's interior and then radiates into outer space. Almost all elements heavier than hydrogen and helium were created by fusion processes in stars. rotation, movement and temperature. A plot of the temperature of many stars against their luminosities,allows the age and evolutionary state of a star to be determined. Astronomers can determine the mass, age, chemical composition and many other properties of a star by observing its spectrum, luminosity and motion through space. The total mass of a star is the principal determinant in its evolution a nd eventual fate. Other characteristics of a star are determined by its evolutionary history, including the diameter, Binary and multi-star systems consist of two or more stars that are gravitationally bound, and generally move around each other in stable orbits. A star begins as a collapsing cloud of material c omposed primarily of hydrogen, along with helium and trace amounts of heavier elements. Once the stellar core is sufficiently dense, some of the hydrogen is steadily converted into helium through the process of nuclear fusion. Once the hydrogen fuel at the core is exhausted, those stars having at least 0.4 times the mass of the Sun expand to become a red giant, in some cases fusing heavier elements at the core or in shells around the core. The star then evolves into a degenerate form, recycling a portion of the matter into the interstellar environment, where it will form a new g eneration of stars with a higher proportion of heavy elements. When two such stars have a relatively close orbit, their gravitational interaction can have a significant impact on their evolutionThe remainder of the star's the core through a combination of radiative and convective processes. The star's internal pressure prevents it from collapsing further under its own gravity.
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby Zombie Protestor » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:34 am

The first spammer wrote:There is no need to be aware of quality.


Then I like how the second one basically came up with a sixth grade report on stars.
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Postby EvilJekyll » Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:49 am

Zombie Protestor wrote:Then I like how the second one basically came up with a sixth grade report on stars.


At first I thought it might be an ad for a telescope, so I let it load the pictures, but it was just another one of those Get rich like Me things.
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
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Postby Skimba » Wed Jun 04, 2008 4:57 pm

Round Two

Subject: Congress authorized plans to produce a silver coin
Sender: Candice Murdock [ghw@borashipping.com]

New plan, stay tuned!

1. Do nothing
2. Girl'll find you herself
3. Use our product V (or C)
4. Have fun
..
Profit?

Got hot! http://severalsheet.com/?said=ram
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Postby sum yun gai » Sat Jul 12, 2008 9:17 pm

Image
ntw3001 wrote:Sass has to come from the heart, not from the shirt.


traubster wrote:I find it irritating whenever I walk through a cemetery and there's not one gravestone that reads something like, "We're all grateful that he's dead. Sorry if he owed you money."
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Postby Skimba » Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:41 pm

OK, not really hilarious, but one of those spam e-mails that actually makes me curious to know what's in the link, but I won't click, especially at work.

Subject: Vulcan!
From: thc@bopmeisters.com
Message:
For bad boys only

http://smellwisdom.com/?said=r17
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Postby PonderThis » Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:56 pm

Skimba wrote:http://smellwisdom.com/?said=r17
Ha ha ha!! I can imagine a cartoon to go with this, with a bunch of incompetent (but self-deluded) mad scientists and their failed creations with one of them going, "It's so smart in here, I can smell the wisdom!"
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Postby EvilJekyll » Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:47 pm

It's.....



Canadian Pharmacy.
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Postby catastrophile » Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:58 am

Image
[/bastard]
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Postby EvilJekyll » Wed Jul 23, 2008 6:40 pm

How can I subscribe to MSN Featured Offers?
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
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Postby catastrophile » Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:35 pm

So you've heard of Anjelia Jolie?
[/bastard]
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Postby EvilJekyll » Wed Jul 23, 2008 11:27 pm

gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
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Postby Chrono Crow » Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:08 am

Still fail to see her appeal. Her face looks like it's made with rubber.
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