Amusing News Articles

Postby **Nik** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:29 pm

I post enough of these, so I feel like making a thread for them.

Man Accused Of Dancing Naked In His Backyard

Children Claim Suspect Was 'Staring At Them And Gyrating His Hips Naked'

Skimba · Postby **Skimba** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:37 pm

Hahahaha, Nik.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16255785/?GT1=8816

Short but sweet. Goooooooooooooo snakes!

Siirenias · Postby **Siirenias** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:37 pm

From the privacy of his own residence, no less! That scoundrel!

EDIT: Darwin Strikes Again!

Zombie Protestor · Postby **Zombie Protestor** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:03 pm

Weird News

Where you get things like this little gem.

Skimba · Postby **Skimba** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:08 pm

And News of the Weird

Postby **Nik** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:10 pm

Zombie Protestor · Postby **Zombie Protestor** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:12 pm

Well, they're living in a van, now they just have to live down by the river.

Yo soy Matt Foley, y yo VIVO...en un VAN...CIRCA DEL RIO!

catastrophile · Postby **catastrophile** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:14 pm

Oooooooh, defyin' the man
Oooooooh, livin' in a van
Hop on in, we'll park where we can
Oooooooh, livin' in a van . . .

*flees from nik-wrath*

Siirenias · Postby **Siirenias** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:18 pm

Zombie Protestor wrote:Well, they're living in a van, now they just have to live down by the river.

Chris Farley's ghost approves.

EDIT: I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE

DMEnduro · Postby **DMEnduro** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:08 pm

RAARGH! You feed me girl?

catastrophile · Postby **catastrophile** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:16 pm

Hahahaha that's terrible.

I was expecting something to do with the Irwin child.

EDIT: Article's behind a registration wall, but . . .

People who refuse to obtain health insurance could be tracked down by the state or a private contractor, enrolled in a plan and fined until they pay their premiums under one proposal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration is considering as part of his vision for covering all Californians.

. . .

. . .

Jeebus f@cking Chrism, are these people out of their f@cking minds?

. . .

mrgazpacho · Postby **mrgazpacho** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:12 am

catastrophile wrote:Article's behind a registration wall, but . . .
People who refuse to obtain health insurance could be tracked down by the state or a private contractor, enrolled in a plan and fined until they pay their premiums under one proposal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration is considering as part of his vision for covering all Californians.

Kyle Reese in The Terminator wrote:He'll find her. That's what he does. That's all he does! You can't stop him. He'll wade through you, reach down her throat, and pull her rickin'-frackin' heart out.

Postby **PonderThis** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:33 am

Ha ha! And you Californians thought that calling him "The Governator" was a joke ...

chrismachine · Postby **chrismachine** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:18 pm

catastrophile wrote:Jeebus f@cking Chrism

not even Pixie could draw that. although Veepa likely could, not that I'd want to see it.

catastrophile · Postby **catastrophile** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:31 pm

LOLz.

Careful, I have pictures of you and Jeebus, and porn images to paste your heads on.

This story isn't particularly amusing, but the headline is awesome:

Gruesome lesbian chainsaw slaying shocks US

EDIT: . . . I guess nobody else thinks the thought of lesbians hacking each other with chainsaws is funny. Anyway, here's something that amuses me more every time I think about it. And here's the latest update on it.

EDIT: LOLZ

chrismachine · Postby **chrismachine** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:03 pm

haha, that AA thing was hilarious. the dilbert one was ok, but all that humour was removed by the first 3 commenters who tried way too hard to by funny.

James · Postby **James** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:47 am

catastrophile wrote:
Gruesome lesbian chainsaw slaying shocks US

EDIT: . . . I guess nobody else thinks the thought of lesbians hacking each other with chainsaws is funny.

Oh, I do, but by the time I'd sent the link to Daniel I forgot what was going on and went off to do something else. IT WAS FUNNY, THOUGH.

catastrophile wrote:Anyway, here's something that amuses me more every time I think about it. And here's the latest update on it.

Awesome.

catastrophile · Postby **catastrophile** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:45 am

Another really-only-good-for-the-headline story:
Boy, 7, Finds Nearly $9,000 Worth of Crack in Pocket

SemiNomad · Postby **SemiNomad** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:49 am

I don't know, I was amused by how they compared the size of the crack rock with a cookie.

Chrono Crow · Postby **Chrono Crow** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:51 am

catastrophile wrote:Another really-only-good-for-the-headline story:
Boy, 7, Finds Nearly $9,000 Worth of Crack in Pocket

I was hoping it'd be in his pants pocket. While he was wearing them. Like just out of nowhere, he sticks his hand into his pocket and finds crack. The teacher probably told him it was kool-aid.

James · Postby **James** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:47 am

403 Forbidden!

giantsfan97 · Postby **giantsfan97** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:28 pm

Alec Baldwin goes batshit crazy on his 11 (or 12) year old daughter!

Actually, I bet a lot of kids get yelled at worse than this. BUT HE'S A CELEBRITY SO ITS FUNNY

Dusk · Postby **Dusk** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:38 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:Actually, I bet a lot of kids get yelled at worse than this. BUT HE'S A CELEBRITY SO ITS FUNNY

The next time you post something like this I'M GONNA COME OUT THERE FOR THE DAY!!

Postby **PonderThis** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:01 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:Alec Baldwin goes batshit crazy on his 11 (or 12) year old daughter!

Why am I still astounded at what stupid poopcakes passes for "news" nowadays, just because a "celeb" does it? Gaaaaah.

catastrophile · Postby **catastrophile** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:40 pm

Noozertainment. It's all become one.

Sort of like rap, hip-hop, and pop, only much sadder for its impact on society.

Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing ... keeping his mouth shut

. . . and letting his spokesperson hold up his end of the shouting match.

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