THIS ARE THE NEWS

What? You like other sites besides Spamusement? Unacceptable!

THIS ARE THE NEWS

Postby stevenf » Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:30 pm

I see too many weird headlines on the internet to not share them with you all.

Image
User avatar
stevenf
Exalted Founder and Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:59 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Postby stevenf » Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:38 pm

Image
User avatar
stevenf
Exalted Founder and Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:59 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Postby Saltine » Thu Dec 13, 2007 3:00 pm

The answer may arouse you!
--Saltine
User avatar
Saltine
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5273
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:24 am
Location: Cambridge, MA, US

Postby MysticalDescent » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:24 pm

Saltine wrote:The answer may arouse you!


Hahahaha.

With regards to the first news article,

Some men from <whatever place/group you like to mock> decide that they should rob a bank. They search for a suitable and vulnerable location and finally decide on a target. In the dead of night, they flawlessly break in and reach the vaults. They crack open the first safe and are disappointed to find a jar of vanilla ice cream. They decide to eat it as a treat for themselves and carry on. They open the next safe and find that it, too, is full of Vanilla ice cream, which they eat. They continue searching and each time they find some ice cream, eating it on every occasion. They find no money and leave the bank feeling rather nauseous. They still feel nauseous in the morning and wake up to the headline on the local newspaper: '<location of subjects>'s LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED'.

That was poor.
Image
User avatar
MysticalDescent
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5131
Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 3:24 pm
Location: Stoke, England

Postby James » Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:27 pm

THIS IS THE NEWS.
SIGNATURE: GONE
User avatar
James
Is a Hero in Bed
 
Posts: 14873
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:40 am
Location: Surbiton, England

Postby EvilJekyll » Thu Dec 13, 2007 6:06 pm

MysticalDescent wrote:That was poor.

Funny, but unrealistic.
gif wrote:you can't stuff a coin down a stripper's g-string
Judas Maccabeus wrote:Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
My Site
User avatar
EvilJekyll
Wikimaster Deluxe
 
Posts: 5526
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:50 pm
Location: NJ

Postby stevenf » Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:17 pm

How could I have left out this one.

Image
User avatar
stevenf
Exalted Founder and Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:59 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Postby Skimba » Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:18 pm

stevenf wrote:How could I have left out this one.

Image

That's my favorite yet.
Image
User avatar
Skimba
Impresses the Females
 
Posts: 7353
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:29 am
Location: Skeleton!;Skeleton Key;Skeleton Girl;The Skeleton in the Closet;Skeleton Crew;Jack Skelington

Postby Saltine » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:02 pm

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don't click the video link
--Saltine
User avatar
Saltine
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5273
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2006 8:24 am
Location: Cambridge, MA, US

Postby Gelatine Cow » Thu Dec 13, 2007 8:08 pm

Oops! Dropped one!

Yes, they are shopping for individual Skittles.
And that's terrible.
User avatar
Gelatine Cow
REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION
 
Posts: 1913
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:33 am

Postby catastrophile » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:58 pm

"skittles"
[/bastard]
User avatar
catastrophile
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5698
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Downtown Boobginaville

Postby Skimba » Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:13 am

catastrophile wrote:"skittles"

:wink:
Image
User avatar
Skimba
Impresses the Females
 
Posts: 7353
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 11:29 am
Location: Skeleton!;Skeleton Key;Skeleton Girl;The Skeleton in the Closet;Skeleton Crew;Jack Skelington

Postby James » Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:38 pm

Like, the game you get in old pubs with the wooden ball?

I think I've only been to one pub that has that.
SIGNATURE: GONE
User avatar
James
Is a Hero in Bed
 
Posts: 14873
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:40 am
Location: Surbiton, England

Postby stevenf » Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:34 pm

BREAKING NEWS: Some baseball players use drugs!
User avatar
stevenf
Exalted Founder and Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:59 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Postby Mimiheart » Fri Dec 14, 2007 4:49 pm

What did the news ever do that it needed to be broken?



This headline is really bugging me:
Baseline Killer suspect get 438 years
Made ya look.
User avatar
Mimiheart
Needs Your Bank Info
 
Posts: 2874
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2005 11:24 pm
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA

Postby Chrono Crow » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:27 pm

Image

-_-
quetzalcoatlus wrote:You should always make sure that all your important pussy cheese and uncle-rapist is backed up, in case your computer crashes.
User avatar
Chrono Crow
Spam King
 
Posts: 15466
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:49 pm
Location: Yeach

Postby James » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:28 pm

Hahahahaha.
SIGNATURE: GONE
User avatar
James
Is a Hero in Bed
 
Posts: 14873
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:40 am
Location: Surbiton, England

Postby stevenf » Fri Dec 14, 2007 6:55 pm

Image

Well played, E! Online, well played.
User avatar
stevenf
Exalted Founder and Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 467
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 1:59 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Postby ntw3001 » Fri Dec 14, 2007 8:29 pm

Chrono Crow wrote:Image

-_-


Wait... is it that Ike Turner... defeated Tina Turner... in the race to die? Becuase if so, that's a gloriously funny headline written by a man after my own heart.
User avatar
ntw3001
Group Captain
 
Posts: 6473
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 5:55 pm
Location: Essex

Postby Chrono Crow » Fri Dec 14, 2007 9:03 pm

It would be hilarious if it wasn't the New York Post. A professionally-written article shouldn't be something that callous. Though, the line is funny. Just not for the guy's obituary.
quetzalcoatlus wrote:You should always make sure that all your important pussy cheese and uncle-rapist is backed up, in case your computer crashes.
User avatar
Chrono Crow
Spam King
 
Posts: 15466
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:49 pm
Location: Yeach

Postby chrismachine » Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:41 pm

ecxept that, given the chance, he would have been guilty of the literal transation as well.
Image
Veepa wrote:Very wise words, Master Tiny Legs.
User avatar
chrismachine
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5954
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 1:24 am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Postby catastrophile » Sat Dec 15, 2007 12:06 am

Chrono Crow wrote:the New York Post

Chrono Crow wrote:professionally-written

:lol:
[/bastard]
User avatar
catastrophile
Pays Too Much For Car Insurance
 
Posts: 5698
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:53 pm
Location: Downtown Boobginaville

Postby quetzalcoatlus » Sat Dec 15, 2007 5:01 am

stevenf wrote:Image

Well played, E! Online, well played.

This would be funnier if the actual tour he's going on in character wasn't called Cox Across America to begin with.

Still my favorite incredibly unfortunate headline: Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' Has Tasty Opening.
PonderThis wrote:Back in olden times people found solace in Jesus. Nowadays it's Sonic The Hedgehog.
User avatar
quetzalcoatlus
REQUIRES YOUR ATTENTION
 
Posts: 1483
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 1:14 am
Location: Up here in the cabinet, banging on pots and pans.

Postby kupo » Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:33 pm

stevenf wrote:Image


Testing, testing, 1 2 3, is this thing on?
a signature
User avatar
kupo
Impresses the Females
 
Posts: 7811
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:16 am
Location: Hicksville, New York, USA

Postby Nik » Sat Dec 15, 2007 2:09 pm

kupo wrote:
stevenf wrote:Image


Testing, testing, 1 2 3, is this thing on?


Yes, I read you loud and clear.

Hey, this is cheaper than talking on a cell phone! But less socially acceptable!
Image
Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
User avatar
Nik
Moderator
 
Posts: 5909
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 11:30 am
Location: Southwestern Connecticut

Next

Return to The Internets

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron