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Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 3:58 pm
by jvcc
You're wrong. And I don't like the implication that I'm lying. I am a straightforward person and if I don't like someone, I tell them.

Stop suggesting that I am lying. I don't like it.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 7:53 pm
by IanC
Also where does this feeling bad bollocks come from. I actually had someone at work notice how happy I am. Plenty of people have said that I since I've started chatting with Maria I have got a lot happier.

Yes I had a stupid moment on Monday. And perhaps I need to reign in my feelings on her when we haven't even met yet. But for now? I'm happy.

But I do know people on here hate me. Maybe not you, but others certainly. Not that I can blame them honestly.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 10:04 pm
by EsBe
Well the vast majority of your recent posts are pretty glum. If you're happy, you should present yourself here as being happy, otherwise how the fork would anyone know you're in a good mood! You didn't even mention you had kept up contact with your current love interest. Also good luck with the date.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 10:15 pm
by jvcc
When I was a kid, just after my parents got a divorce, my mom made me see a therapist.

She's a big believer in therapy because it helped her deal with trauma from her childhood that would and has emotionally and psychologically crippled countless others. She wanted to make sure that I was coping with the divorce, the move, etc., and she was concerned because I was generally mopey (I was a tween, after all) and could not for the life of me talk about my emotions.

The first therapist was not a particularly astute therapist. I was a smart kid and I told her what she wanted to hear. She told my mom I didn't need counseling.

Then my mom had her therapist come see me. She tried to talk to me about my feeling. I told her I'm fine, I'm good, I'm happy. Then she started to ask about my interests. Did I like any tv shows, music, or books? Books was what really got me talking. I was reading everything I could get my hands on at the time, and I started telling her all about this novel and that short story and so on.

She pointed out that I looked happy when talking about books, but when I had said I was happy earlier I actually looked miserable. I didn't present myself as happy, even though I said I was.

For me, there was actual cognitive dissonance. I was unhappy, but I didn't realize it and wouldn't admit it to myself.

For you, I imagine it's a combination of what you and Esbe said. You are happy, but you don't present yourself as happy on here.

That's probably because you come here to vent; I use it the same way too. Since the age of fifteen, I've been using this place like an online journal that's made up of people who can respond to me. But when all I hear from you is that you're frustrated, you think people hate you, etc., I get worried and I assume you're unhappy.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 11:42 pm
by EsBe
jvcc wrote:Since the age of fifteen

Holy crap, Spamusement really did start in 2004, didn't it. :shock: Sometimes the time runs away from me.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 10:11 am
by IanC
Saying love interest makes it sound like I'm in a TV show or something, lol.

But seriously don't get "worried" about me. Im just one of many idiots on the internet. There's no reason to be worried. Otherwise I'll just end up annoying you as much as I did chrismachine, and look at him now, he's completely ignoring me.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 5:13 pm
by jvcc
There's a difference between not posting at all and specifically ignoring someone. A quick look at his post history shows he hasn't posted since the 12th. Does that mean he's ignoring me and Esbe too?

When I say that you internalize things and make them about you when they actually aren't, does that sound right to you or do you disagree?

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 5:28 pm
by IanC
I disagree. Because he has been ignoring me. I said some stupid dumb things to him via pm, went over the line and tried to apologise and since then he has been ignoring me. I can't blame him, I shouldn't have accused him of sounding condecending, well at least I should have accepted his explanation about it instead of further insisting that he was when he said he wasn't.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 6:14 pm
by jvcc
Give it time, it'll be alright. He's used to caring for and teaching children, so I'm sure he can handle people pushing his buttons.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 12:05 pm
by sum yun gai
IanC wrote:
jvcc wrote:Even if I didn't like you,

You don't like me. None of you do. I don't care frankly, but just come out and tell the truth about it.


One of my favorite pithy sayings comes into play here:

"Lack of evidence is proof the conspiracy is working"

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 6:04 pm
by IanC
sum yun gai wrote:
IanC wrote:
jvcc wrote:Even if I didn't like you,

You don't like me. None of you do. I don't care frankly, but just come out and tell the truth about it.


One of my favorite pithy sayings comes into play here:

"Lack of evidence is proof the conspiracy is working"

Oh i know you don't like me, in fact you hate me.

But like i said before, i deserve it.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 6:16 pm
by jvcc
Ian, what is your goal? Do you want people to like you or not like you?

If your goal is to get people to like you, it may help to walk through some possible scenarios.

Scenario 1: People here do not dislike you or hate you. How do you think those people will feel if you keep telling them that you know they do dislike you? What positive outcome will telling them that achieve?

Scenario 2: Some people here do dislike you. Same question. How will they feel when you point that out? What positive outcome will it achieve?

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 11:21 am
by ntw3001
God dang it my work schedule has just changed for the worse. I've spent the last two months training for a particular type of class and, under this prospective schedule, I have zero of those classes (Also! These are the classes where I would have actually been able to meet and interact with other employees of the company, but instead I will be a lonely ghost, isolated and forgotten by all). Instead I have three to four of the super special new classes each week. The ones which start on Monday, and for which training will be during the initial class on Monday. Also, I can't currently take holiday on the days when those classes are scheduled, leaving me with... Wednesdays and sometimes Thursdays. I've sent an email to my manager to the effect of 'is this... really my permanent schedule?'. I do not expect a satisfactory response.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:12 pm
by IanC
Don't know what you are getting at JVCC. SYG hates me. Simple.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 12:00 am
by sum yun gai
Yeah, not really. But thanks for playing anyway....

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 4:27 am
by ntw3001
I had a friend who was utterly convinced our German teacher hated him with a passion. When this was brought up in my mum's presence (also a teacher), her response was along the lines of 'Why would a teacher who has seen about three hundred different students each week for twenty-five years be feuding with a fourteen year-old?' She was right. Quite possibly the teacher found my friend's behaviour baffling, though, as he wound up working more on maintaining this imaginary vendetta than on his German. My friend was involved in a titanic battle of wills with a wily foe, and my teacher had one student in one class who refused to work for some reason.

So anyway. Ian, is there actually much interaction between yourself and SYG or jvcc, aside from these exchanges wherein you assert that they hate you for unclear reasons and they refuse to play along? You seem to be maintaining several concurrent squabbles, and not a single one is with someone who's squabbling back. I mean, I'll concur that they're likely finding the umpteenth go-round fairly tiresome (this thread isn't exactly a page-turner), but if you want to earn a real, visceral hatred you won't get it by just repeatedly announcing it. Why exactly would a PhD graduate in Illinois and a, uh, green three-eyed guy hate you? And if the answer is 'I don't know why but they do', why do you think they do in the first place?

edit: holy cow SYG actually has loads of eyes

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:46 am
by IanC
sum yun gai wrote:Yeah, not really. But thanks for playing anyway....

Lol. Whatever.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:15 pm
by sum yun gai
ntw3001 wrote:edit: holy cow SYG actually has loads of eyes


ironically, my avatar was created by Clueless specifically *FOR* Ian -- the C is pronounced "see", hence the pun. Ian didn't want it and I hated to see it go to waste, so I adopted it as my own.


So, ....um... yeah, TAKE THAT, IAN! I hate you so much I stole your avatar you didn't want in the first place! :roll:

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:48 pm
by jvcc
ntw3001 wrote:God dang it my work schedule has just changed for the worse. I've spent the last two months training for a particular type of class and, under this prospective schedule, I have zero of those classes (Also! These are the classes where I would have actually been able to meet and interact with other employees of the company, but instead I will be a lonely ghost, isolated and forgotten by all). Instead I have three to four of the super special new classes each week. The ones which start on Monday, and for which training will be during the initial class on Monday. Also, I can't currently take holiday on the days when those classes are scheduled, leaving me with... Wednesdays and sometimes Thursdays. I've sent an email to my manager to the effect of 'is this... really my permanent schedule?'. I do not expect a satisfactory response.


That's nerve wracking. Will you get / have you gotten any time to train for the new classes?

And, Ian, thinking that people here hate you is part of the reason I think you're unhappy with yourself. I don't see anyone being mean to you and you interpret polite or neutral statements as personal attacks.

So, because the animosity towards yourself isn't coming from these other people, I assume it's coming from you.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 2:11 pm
by IanC
sum yun gai wrote:ironically, my avatar was created by Clueless specifically *FOR* Ian -- the C is pronounced "see", hence the pun. Ian didn't want it and I hated to see it go to waste, so I adopted it as my own.


So, ....um... yeah, TAKE THAT, IAN! I hate you so much I stole your avatar you didn't want in the first place! :roll:

Yeah, i don't remember that at all?

But dang Clueless. Last posted ages ago. Wonder what they are up to now?

jvcc wrote:And, Ian, thinking that people here hate you is part of the reason I think you're unhappy with yourself. I don't see anyone being mean to you and you interpret polite or neutral statements as personal attacks.

So, because the animosity towards yourself isn't coming from these other people, I assume it's coming from you.

Saying that im only looking for a living sex toy isn't an attack then? Huh. Good to know.

Like i said though, i deserve it from chrismachine after all the bullhonky i put him through via PM, accusing him of acting condescending and in siting on it even when he pointed out the obvious (that its hard to 'read' what people intend online)

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Sun Feb 28, 2016 6:40 pm
by IanC
Tonight at worked sucked. I swear people are dumb.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 9:37 am
by ntw3001
Well since complaining about women has been my theme recently

What on Earth is this Chinese girl up to

So, I did wind up getting on Tinder (sigh), and it's fairly tolerable. Occasional matches, even more occasional responses, fine. But I got chatting to this one Chinese girl and I have no notion of what her deal is. We spoke briefly, exchanged Line (Japanese Whatsapp equivalent) IDs and continued. Since then, she's messaged me every morning when she gets into work, and continued chatting until I tell her I'm going to bed, usually around 1.30am or so. If she doesn't send me a message for a couple of hours, the next message is telling me what she just did (went for a jog, saw a football game, whatever). So we've spoken a lot over the last week or so. One would think that if you message a fellow good morning every morning and update him on your leisure movements, perhaps you're not entirely revolted by his character. But this morning's conversation went something like this:

Her: Good morning
Me: Morning, how was your night?
Her: Pretty good, had shisha (picture)

... and so it goes on, until we start discussing food. So we both like spicy food, she likes Chinese (ya), I haven't tried real Chinese food, she knows some good places, she should show me, she agrees. What's she doing on Sunday? No plan. Let's make a plan, dinner and drinks in Akihabara on Sunday?

*crickets*

It's the first message she's read and not immediately responded to. What gives? I've not intimated any expectations; I just want to actually meet her in person since I've spoken more to her this week than anyone else. I don't feel this is too grave an importunity. I get that meeting up with someone who lives in one's phone could be a stumbling block, but I dunno. I feel like the interest in my society which seems apparent in general chitchat doesn't quite match up to that shown when the prospect of actually meeting looms. Quite probably I'll not hear from her again, as my 'dinner and drinks at the restaurant you suggested' advance was just too sleazy, too pushy. Or maybe she's not even a real person and is the fake Tinder/Line account of someone terrible! Should have led with a dick pic.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 1:37 pm
by sum yun gai
Have you spoken in person yet? Or, ...in phone-on..? I'd be wary of a catfisher (or is it catphisher?) trying to swindle you into thinking you're chatting with a real person who's actually interested in meeting. But it sounds like you are already accepting of that possibility.

Or, maybe she's scouting the restaurant ahead of time so that she can text-report you what she ate, how the place is decorated, where you'll be sitting, etc :P

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 4:03 pm
by Skimba
I ate too fast. Too much work to do. Now I don't feel good. I'm sure it will pass, but right now feel ghastly (thanks for re-introducing that word to me chrism). Blergh.

Re: A whine and complain thread

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 7:35 pm
by chrismachine
Haha, no trouble Skimba. As far as that girl goes ntw, you were far more than patient on a DATING site with waiting to ask to meet, in my non-experienced opinion, and it's a shame your time seems to have been wasted, save whatever fun you may have had being on the receiving end of live blog updates. I wish you better luck going forward :)