Postby jvcc » Sat Jan 28, 2012 11:46 pm
I don't really know what thread this should go in, but does anyone have advice for how to cope with a family member having serious medical issues?
Without going too much into detail, for a few years now my mom has been dealing with a disease (on different medications, seeing different doctors, in and out of surgeries, etc.) When the seriousness of her illness began to hit me I responded by trying to withdraw from her in order to avoid dealing with how difficult it is to see her in pain/unhappy. That worked okay for a while because my brother was still living at home, and in addition to being emotionally open (like her) he's also good at cheering people up by making light of a serious situation. He moved out a few months ago and now that it's just my mom and me at home and she talks to me about her problems, medical and otherwise, which I know she needs to do but I'm not good at offering people sympathy, particularly people I actually care about. So lately it's become our regular exercise in futility for her to vent to me and for me to not know how to respond. I know that she has every right to and that I should be able to respond in a comforting manner, but I need to figure out how.
I should mention, I'm good at helping her deal with work-related problems because you can usually offer advice to solve those, but there's nothing I can do if her medications aren't working or her disease hasn't gone into remission. It's also difficult because we can't do the activities we used to do for fun since she has difficult walking and has very little energy. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, I really don't. I just need advice because I'm sure other people have dealt with similar issues.
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