Fun with Omegle

[jvcc]

I like to go on the Omegle chat website sometimes for a laugh. I've saved some of the more interesting conversations.







And just now:
Stranger: hi
You: Hola.
Stranger: asl
You: 20/f/US
You: You?
Stranger: 18/transgender/india
You: Neat. Female-to-male or male-to-female?
Stranger: male to female
You: Ah. Are people accepting of that in India, or your particular region of India?
Stranger: no they r not very accepting bt wht cn i do?
You: Yeah, they're not in the US either.
Stranger: will u come to india to meet me?
Stranger: ur my only dfrnd
Stranger: i love u man!
You: Hm. I don't have a passport. Sorry.
Stranger: get it made
Stranger: wat dnt ppl do 4 luv?
Stranger: u just hv to get a passport made
Stranger: pls for me.....
You: I'm sure you can find people there who will accept you and be your friend.
Stranger: nah ..
You: Look for some sort of LGBT community or support group.
Stranger: dy dnt
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Zombie Protestor]

The last one, I think his/her typing was getting more and more slurred over time.

EDIT: This is great fun.

[jvcc]

Haha, I love the noises ambulances make. Weewooweewooweewoo...

This was an interesting conversation, especially considering I got on Omegle to avoid doing homework:
Question to discuss:
if youre religious, try and prove atheism is the right answer. if atheist, vice versa
Stranger: This doesn't make much sense.
You: Atheist here.
Stranger: What if I'm neither?
You: TOO BAD
You: We have been summoned to settle this.
You: Right here.
You: Right now.
Stranger: Well, alright.
Stranger: If we've got to throw down, I mean.
Stranger: That's how it's gotta be.
You: So I have to argue for religion, then?
Stranger: That seems to be the imperative
Stranger: I'm not religious or atheist, but I guess I have to advocate atheism
You: Deal.
You: Well, since the earth seems to follow a model of cause and effect, it necessarily follows that there must be a first cause to have set everything in motion.
You: REFUTE MY TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
Stranger: I AM ON IT
Stranger: A first cause is implicit, not explicit, and is not necessarily metaphysical in origin in the first place.
You: Must god be metaphysical?
Stranger: If not, then it's hard to claim that's a deity.
You: Perhaps we as humans merely need to redefine what it means to be a god.
Stranger: We defined what it means to be a god initially. God is a human concept. Redefining it renders the word meaningless.
You: Unless god is a physical actuality, as opposed to a constructed concept, as you so craftily tried to imply.
Stranger: In that case, why is there such a lack of tangible evidence for the existence of such a being?
You: Is there tangible evidence of dark matter?
You: Nature points to its existence.
Stranger: Dark matter is an inference.
You: As is god.
You: But the absence of evidence for both does not necessarily imply their lack of being.
Stranger: Nor does it imply that they exist at all.
Stranger: An inference is just hypothetical.
You: Yes, but, given my limited understanding of theoretical physics, certain aspects of observable nature point to the existence of dark matter, just as the existence of everything points to a first cause.
Stranger: Which again does not necessarily lend to the idea of an omnipotent creator, unless some sort of origin event - like the "big bang" - is deified.
You: And why shouldn't it be?
Stranger: That would require we reform the notion of what a god is. In that scenario, there would be no point in worshiping such an entity, and so religion would be made irrelevant.
You: Not necessarily.
Stranger: After all, an explosion gains nothing from praise or worship.
You: Not all religions recognize "god" as an all-loving, all-powerful being.
You: Particularly because the problem of suffering creates a paradox if those two properties were to exist in one entity.
You: God could merely be an all-powerful, or merely extremely powerful, force without motive or morality.
Stranger: True, but that sort of depends on where you draw the line between religion and philosophy. Oh boy. This is more than I wanted out of Omegle this evening.
You: Hahaha.
Stranger: I am spent. Interesting debate, Stranger.
You: Back at ya.
Stranger: Arrivederci.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[chrismachine]

That was a surprisingly good read. You also managed to keep your Jamescaps down to two uses, of which i am glad.

[jvcc]

I LOVE YELLING

[ntw3001]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 24/m/uk

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

no time for you old man

I foresee this happening a lot. Unless I go the 14/f/cali route. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with the idea. Bit paedophile-y.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Mind helping me make a little cash? Click on this link, it ill redirect you to google after 5 seconds, click top lefft corner and your at google. Thanks http://adf.ly/2Lqr1

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[MysticalDescent]

There was a thread about Omegle on another forum I go on. It was entitled 'talk poopcakes to weirdos'. Having reminded me of another thread of it somewhere else, I found this one that a friend of mine got:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i just poopcakes my pants...
You: kool and the gang
Stranger: im not sure whether i should get up and walk to the bathroom and risk
Stranger: dropping shiot
Stranger: onto my floor
Stranger: or
Stranger: call someone in
Stranger: and risk sooper embarrasement
Stranger: it doesnt help
Stranger: that im at work

I wish I could find something funnier and less crude, though.

[James]

You also managed to keep your Jamescaps down to two uses, of which i am glad.

Hurtful.

[chrismachine]

Oh come now. You hardly overdo it.

[James]

I take anyone wanting less of a thing named after me as a personal slight.

[jvcc]

I foresee this happening a lot. Unless I go the 14/f/cali route. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with the idea. Bit paedophile-y.

If I tell them that I'm 20/f/US, they usually either call me a liar or say, "tits or gtfo".

[Zombie Protestor]

I ended up having a few interesting conversations on there. Talked to a guy in Croatia until I got a technical error and got disconnected. Then I talked to a 16-year-old that was pretty sure he was gay for life. I got no problem with this, but I told him it seemed rather early to make a life decision like this. He insisted some sort of thing happened 6 or 7 years prior that convinced him, which makes me suspect some sort of molestation or a friend diddled him. Who knows. Maybe I'm wrong, as I know some people who came out in high school and haven't changed that decision, but basing it on something that happened when you were 9 or 10 seems like the wrong way to go about it.

That was of course, between the people disconnecting after they learned of my maleness.

[chrismachine]

You keep saying decision, is that an assumption or some sort of conclusion you've drawn based on something? I'm pretty much of the other school of thought that you don't choose your sexuality. I don't imagine I could choose to be attracted to and sexually active with men as much as maybe I could train myself not to mind the acts themselves or something (but not become innately attracted to them except by some sort of mental perversion - pardon the pun- or trauma).

[Zombie Protestor]

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to say some things here and I do not intend to make anybody angry. I do not view homosexuality or homosexuals in any sort of negative light.

I look at homosexuality from my roots in Biology. That is, from a purely scientific and observational standpoint. Sex A + Sex A = nothing happens. Sex A + Sex B = reproduction. It just strikes me that the natural order of things show that different genders are supposed to be the partners. That sounds a lot like I'm saying homosexuality is unnatural, but that word has two meanings: A) not as nature intended and B) an abomination. Obviously, I mean definition A here. I view homosexuality as a sort of self-governing control built in to throttle population. There are a lot of species out there that practice homosexuality, according to this Wikipedia article, but as it points out, there's an awful lot of observer bias in the research and that is hindering attempts to fully understand the motivations behind this behavior. It could be as I've said before, a throttle such as you see when a species' population grows too large for its food supply or for its environment.

God, I hope I'm not making anyone mad with this post. I just believe that everything is a decision; accepting the alternative is that there are aspects of yourself you have no control over. Again, I say these things from a scientific, and not a homophobic, standpoint.

[EvilJekyll]

I view homosexuality as a sort of self-governing control built in to throttle population.

I've held that view as well. It seems to make sense that way. I'm sure there are people who choose to not care which sexuality they go for and just enjoy the pleasure factor as well though. Whatevs, doesn't much matter to me which you do.

[jvcc]

Unless I have some reason to believe otherwise, I generally always assume that any behavior is a product of nature and nurture, although in varying degrees. But if you're looking for less potentially offensive terminology to use, I might day that I "realized" I was bisexual at X age, not that I "decided" I was.

[James]

I don't think the biological efficacy of homosexuality or social influence on it prove anything conclusive about whether it can be classified as a decision. For it to be a decision, it has to be the result of conscious contemplation of some sort. While there may be external social influence on one's sexuality, as I understand it that would probably be a subconscious rather than conscious process. But I'm no expert.

[Zombie Protestor]

I'm going for something in between "realize" and "decide". The notion comes to you that you might like men or women or both, and then you think over how strongly you feel about all the options. I think everybody goes through it, YES EVEN YOU MR. SEXUALLY-SECURE. Me, I gotta say I'm glad I chose heterosexuality, as there's something magical about your own kids telling you they love you and YES I know homosexual couples can adopt or surrogate or use a donor but I think that deep down somebody is wishing that that child contained their flesh and blood.

I think the realicision (see what I did there?) is definitely a product of their environment growing up, though.

[chrismachine]

I just can't get comfy with "I'm glad I decided". I don't think you could have decided otherwise and stuck to it, since you obviously were inclined to like women.

To me, the decision would go like " Straight: Pro, I like women and want to stick my penis in them when I look at the ones I find attractive. Con, I don't get to stick it in men's anuses. Pro, I would feel comfortable with that arrangement based on what I can deduce by thinking about it. Gay: Pro, men inherently have more in common with me in general terms. Con, I don't want to stick my penis in them when I look at them and I don't like them that way. I guess I'll be straight".

[jvcc]

I daily and with great determination decide to be attracted to women. Now stop sullying my Omegle thread with your gay talk.


This guy seems a bit desperate.

EDIT:
I love when I can someone who will play along:

Question to discuss:
one is a 16 year old first day working at a video store the other is an older supervisor RP cyber for me please (make your own if you dont like this
You: Just shelving video. Dum dee dum dum.
You: I meant to say videos, but what do I know?
You: I'm only sixteen.
Stranger: hang on, i need to compose myself
You: What was that, sir?
You: I'm gonna go take a smoke break, okay?
Stranger: Make it quick
You: Or just text my friends all day.
You: YOUTH, amirite?
Stranger: Just go, fuckin weird teenager
You: Deal.
Stranger: GO ON YOUR SMOKE BREAK
You: I AM I AM OUTSIDE NOW
Stranger: *facepalms* kids these days.
You: *smokes*
Stranger: Could you come in my office please?
You: Heh heh, he doesn't realize I'm not legally old enough to smoke.
Stranger: i need a word with you
You: Huh? Oh yeah sure.
You: *throws lit cigarette on floor*
Stranger: you filed these videos wrong!!! you don't count "the" in the title when you file them alphabetically...
Stranger: jesus rickin'-frackin' christ
Stranger: GO FIX THEM. NOW.
You: But V does definitely come before S, right?
You: A...B...C...D..E
You: ...F...
You: G?
Stranger: Did you graduate high school?
Stranger: wait... you're 16.
Stranger: you should still be IN school
You: But then how would I be making money?
You: I tried dealing drugs, but there was too much math involved.
Stranger: *sigh*
Stranger: you're fired.
You: D:
You: But...my money...
Stranger: unless you suck my dick right now.
You: Will I be paid for it?
Stranger: no. do you want to keep your job or not???
You: I bet this is the sort of thing I could report.
You: Who do I report sexual harassment charges to?
Stranger: You don't. I'm the owner. You report everything to me
You: Oh.
You: Well, I'd like to file a formal complaint with you then.
Stranger: Okay. Let me get the paperwork.
You: Thank you, I'll wait.
Stranger: Here we are. What was your complaint now?
You: My boss is sexually harassing me.
Stranger: How would you describe this..."sexual harrassment?"
You: He asked me to suck his dick to keep my job.
You: I'd like you to be a witness to that fact.
Stranger: Oh. Well, the thing is
Stranger: I don't actually have a dick
Stranger: *shrugs*
You: Are you a lady or a eunuch?
Stranger: Would you feel better if I told you I was a lady?
You: I'd feel slightly worse, actually.
Stranger: I'm a lady then.
You: For not having recognized it before.
You: Aw poopcakes.
You: You don't have much goin' on...up there, do ya?
Stranger: I can see how you would make that mistake though. I am quite homely
You: Yeah, I mean...GOD, just look at you.
You: I mean, no offense or anything...
You: but dang.
Stranger: *sobs* Are you finished filling out that complaint form?
You: What? Oh yeah. *reads aloud as I finish scribbling* "Suck...her...dick."
You: Here you go.
Stranger: *hiccup* Thanks. Uh... Get back to *sob* work now...
You: Can do, sir. I mean, maam. I mean...uh, buddy.
Stranger: *Sobs uncontrollably*
You: Keep ooooon truckin'.
Stranger: Just get back to work!
You: *exits office*
Stranger: *shuts door and cries*
You have disconnected.

[jvcc]

Question to discuss:
1 + 3 X 4 +2 X 0=
Stranger: 0
You: Hold on.
You: Order of operations.
You: 13?
Stranger: 0 anyting times 0 is 0
You: Yes, but you do the multiplication first.
You: So two times zero is zero, and three times four is twelve.
You: So twelve plus one is thirteen.
Stranger: who carfes school doesnt start for another week so fork it
You: Someone's upset that they don't understand basic math.
Stranger: nope
Stranger: im gunna be atrophy wife so i dont need it anyway
You: Atrophy wife, eh?
You: Will you not move much?
Stranger: im gunna be a trphy wife so i dont need math
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[James]

Stranger: im gunna be atrophy wife so i dont need it anyway

Accidental self-satire is the best thing.

[ntw3001]

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
If I become a chef will you both come to my restaurant

Stranger 1: sure

Stranger 2: Where is it though?

Stranger 1 has disconnected

I probably should have clarified.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
If I become a chef will you both come to my restaurant

Stranger 1: Spunk sandwich

Stranger 1 has disconnected

I'm not sure I liked this one.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
If I become a chef will you both come to my restaurant

Stranger 2: yeah

Stranger 1: sure

Stranger 2: Location pl0x

Stranger 2 has disconnected

Maybe I should give up on this question.

[Zombie Protestor]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
One of you is the big strong horny prisoner and the other one is the scrawny child molester.

Stranger: Or I'm neither.
You: rar I'm a child molester gonna molest me some children
You: rar
Stranger: Well gee, that turns me right on. Let's have some gay secks.
You: Not worried about the prisoner, because he's in prison
You: and I'm not
Stranger: No way me neither.
You: You broke out of jail?
Stranger: With a spoon and some willpower.
You: *stays inside with phone, watching out the window for you*
Stranger: U mad?
You: Well yeah I don't know what you did to land in prison
You: I don't think it was tax evasion
Stranger: That's what they caught me for.
You: and I'm scrawny so I'm not going to let you sneak up on my house
You: you had to get buff to survive in prison
You: I see
Stranger: I'll evade the fuсk out of your taxes.
You: they need it
You: the IRS is getting me for buying that big windowless van
You: which I need because I am a child molester
Stranger: Are you a child molester who has a Tumblr?
You: The candy I can put down as a tax-deductable work expense though
You: the roleplay question doesn't suggest I have Tumblr, but sure, why the heck not
Stranger: (I broke character. I meant in real life.)
You: The more avenues I have to molester me some children the better
You: gasp
Stranger: But yes, I suppose you're into those emos and gays, ehhh?
Stranger: -Tries to play off break in character-
You: Wait, are you at my house? How are we talking to each other?
Stranger: Yeah, I found you after escaping from prison.
You: Oh god *runs for the shotgun*
You: Oh man it is too heavy for my scrawny frame to handle
Stranger: -Tackles-
Stranger: Here, let me take that from you.
You: k
You: wait, no
You: ah, nuts
You: I hear the sirens from where I called the police earlier
You: They'll take us both.
You: Unless we make a stand here and now
Stranger: Or we could hide.
Stranger: But making a stand is chill too.
You: We'll hide out here and claim we have a hostage
You: You keep the shotgun, it looks like you can handle it
Stranger: Sounds good. Quick, grab a kid.
You: Ooh good thinking
Stranger: It will make everything more credible.
Stranger: Scrape one up from the stash in your basement.
You: Ok, I got a kid. Just in time, too. They're coming up the walk now
Stranger: Good. Is it a little girl?
You: yeah, the boys are too much for me to handle, because apparently I'm scrawny
Stranger: Yeah, I could see how you could get described as such. -sideways glance-
You: Coppers! You're not taking us! We have a hostage!
Stranger: The little bitch'll get it if you make any sudden moves.
You: They're pulling back. Probably going to call in negotiators or SWAT or something
You: I hear something around back *smoke grenade flies through window* cough cough Oh god where's the kid she ran
Stranger: She's on top of that thing.
Stranger: WHAT IS THAT THING.
You: It's...um...I don't know there's too much smoke
You: and my house is not clearly defined by any sort of narrative
Stranger: Well, dang. It's a refrigerator!
You: That's what that thing is. But I hear them coming in the back!
Stranger: I've got her. Let's make a run for it!
You: *crashes out of a window and starts sprinting across the lawn, quickly getting tackled and handcuffed*
Stranger: -puts child on shoulders, walks lazily out of house from side door-
Stranger: It's okay, honey. Daddy's got you now.
Stranger: The bad guy's going to jail.
You: You...you betrayed me!
You: You were an undercover cop all that time
Stranger: AND YOU HAD MY DAUGHTER IN YOUR BASEMENT.
You: Hey lets not point fingers here
Stranger: I'm pointing the shotgun instead.
You: Aah! Protect me! Don't let him shoot me!
Stranger: (Cops: Daniels, we can't let you shoot him. We don't practice martial law around here. There's no room for vigilante justice.)
You: Daniels? I thought you looked a lot like Steve Daniels. I went to high school with him. How's he doing nowadays?
Stranger: NO WAY, BRIAN COOPER.
Stranger: HOW'S SUSAN DOING?
You: SHE'S OW MY ARM DOESN'T TWIST THAT WAY SHE'S GOOD SHE'S A NURSE NOW OVER AT EGLESTON MEMORIAL
Stranger: Oh, sorry. Ashley, honey, go to the station with the nice men and Daddy'll pick you up later. He has to catch up with Coop.
Stranger: And the kids? How're they?
You: I don't know anything about any k- wait, you mean hers. Yeah, they're good. James is on the honor roll and Peter is already looking at colleges. I know, he was riding big wheels last I saw him
Stranger: I heard they took the divorce pretty badly.
Stranger: Ashley's older sister Karen's good friends with James.
You: Oh yeah? Small world after all. Anyways, I'd love to catch up with you more, but they kind of want to take me away.
Stranger: That's true, your ass is going to have to go to jail.
You: Best of luck to you guys. Say hi to the wife for me.
Stranger: I will. And hey, buck up a bit, soldier. Things'll come around.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[fanelian]

That was awesome