This here tablet thing I have

[Null]

I hate to say this, because those clouds are really great-looking, but...they kind of look like rocks. Like meteors, in fact. Meteors that float over the land and spray scalpels down on the defenseless land below, like some kind of crazed revision of "War of the Worlds." Now I'm starting to talk like you.

[ntw3001]

Meteors, hey? Hmm, I see your point. I'm not entirely sure what to do with them. As it turns out, clouds are hard to draw. Not that they need to look like real clouds, being weather report clouds and all. Maybe I should do something using that same brush as for the rest of the display. They're currently done in pastel, like the real world. One advantage of using the other brush is that it gives those white edges, which would perhaps help make them look more fluffy. Yeah, I guess I'll try that.

Alternatively, I could just change the text to 'scalpel meteors nationwide'. Wait, actually that wouldn't be too bad. That is truly awful weather.

DaVince, I hear ya. I quite like there being a level of separation between certain parts (the map itself, the overlaid weather things and Pierre being the parts in question), but I do want each of those parts to look internally consistent. And of course, I want the whole thing to look good. The previous incoming pressure thingy definitley looked more like an overlay, but it also looked horrible.

Oh yeah, I went over the sea with a wash just to darken and enbluenate it a little because I decided Pierre didn't stand out enough. But I don't want to be all postin' the same picture with every single minor change, so I guess you can see that when I fix the clouds.

[ntw3001]

Alright, so I did this. The clouds now look like this. I have the previous version still, if the verdict is that the clouds looked better before.

[chrismachine]

the colouring of the clouds works better now with its surroundings than before, I think.

[DaVince]

Yeah, that looks better.

[Dusk]

How come you can actually do art now? Geez, you people and your friggin talents.

[PonderThis]

How come you can actually do art now? Geez, you people and your friggin talents.

JOIN US RESISTANCE R FUTILE

[ntw3001]

I can't get the shading to match what I did on the first page. So I made it so it was sort of close, and maybe one day I'll figure out what I did there that I didn't do here. Anyways, this here is page 3. THE PLOT THICKENS

[EvilJekyll]

Why is this arts so good?

[Binkatron5000]

LURVE!

[James]

It took me some time to realize that our friend Nick has a talent for words. Now it turns out he has a real talent for art, too. I'm very impressed. I love the style. My admiration even exceeds my disappointment with myself for possessing no such talent.

[PonderThis]

It took me some time to realize that our friend Nick has a talent for words. Now it turns out he has a real talent for art, too. I'm very impressed. I love the style. My admiration even exceeds my disappointment with myself for possessing no such talent.

You still have a talent for words, though. Besides, who has a character in the banner rotation line-up?

Speaking of which, are you going to send me that zip file or not?

[Null]

I like the art but I'm not crazy about the question mark. It seems too "unrealistic" for what you're going for.

Perhaps if it was in a word-balloon it might work better. Otherwise (to my eyes) it kind of stands out a bit.

[ntw3001]

Yeah I am not sure about the question mark. I might try shading it as well, so it looks like the question mark is an actual object that appears. I don't really want to use a thought bubble, though.


A secret note about this page: That picture is going to be repeated three or four times over the course of the story. The only thing that will change is the symbol over his head. I'm loath to get rid of it entirely, other wise how will we know how Miguel is feeling? Aside from the words underneath him, I mean. I can try it in various ways, but since it's not an integral part of the picture I can just leave it and move on to the next page while I decide what's to be done.

I'm still undecided as to whether I'll copy the page wholesale or just redraw it. I guess I'll have to redraw it, with an appropriate background for each occasion. Or maybe it would be funnier if he were against the same concrete wall every time, regardless of any incongruity. Really, most of the story takes place underground anyway, so chances are I'll just be rehashing the 'stone wall' look in slightly different ways.

Oh and most humble thanks to everyone for all the feedback. It is most encouraging and useful for the continued drawing of pictures.

[Null]

Perhaps the question mark could appear in the text area, like a sort of watermark. Ultimately though it must be done to your liking and not to mine.

[giantsfan97]

Yeah I am not sure about the question mark.

Just an idea from a not-so-artsy-person but I think the "?" might look good if it was just a little black one just above his head... as if it had just literally floated out of his brain and will pop like a bubble soon

[ntw3001]

A little black question mark, eh? I can dig that. I'd have to do things so that it didn't fade into the background. But for now, I will be continuing with Page 4: The Arrival Of Panda Pete.

[ntw3001]

It's still at the looks-kind-of-like-ass stage. I'm posting it because I like Panda Pete. He works at the gym and does not adhere to traditional panda markings, physiology, language or methods of locomotion.

Actually, looking at it now, I was definitely overzealous with the edge-softening on his sides. He looks fuzzy. Panda Pete shouldn't look fuzzy. I'll fix it in the future, but it's 4.33am.

Oh yeah, and the reason the door is missing some nails is because Miguel is going to be standing there. Don't panic!

Should that comma be there? Oh, punctuation following quote marks, you will be the death of me. If sleep deprivation doesn't get there first, that is.

[jvcc]

To my knowledge, you don't need the comma. You would only need a comma if Miguel were to continue speaking, in which case it would replace the period.

Example:
'How did you get here?' asked Miguel, 'Did you walk the whole way?"

[DaVince]

Or: "How", asked Miguel, "did you get here?"
Basically, you use the comma after a quote only when said quote doesn't contain a sentence closer already: "How", versus "How?"
EDIT: it has to be said that I'm coming from a Dutch grammar perspective here, but I'm pretty sure it's the same in English as we're talking punctuation.

As usual, looking good. I agree that Miguel still needs some work (especially in order to look fuzzy).

[Binkatron5000]

Panda Pete has an adorable face! But... is he anorexic?

[ntw3001]

He's slender because he works at the gym.

[ntw3001]

Hmm. Do you know what I might do? If this is the first time you've read this post, you don't yet. Unless you skipped to the end, which I cannot prevent you doing at all. But what I might do is this. I might just get all these pages all drawn up and then do all this shading business after it is done because it is much more of a pain. Also hopefully everything will turn out looking a touch more consistent that way.

[Null]

That sounds like a good idea, otherwise people will pick at things you are going to change anyway, and you will have to say, "Stop picking at that, I am going to change that anyway." And if enough people pick at it, it may start to bleed or something and you would not like that.

[Binkatron5000]

That sounds like a good idea, otherwise people will pick at things you are going to change anyway, and you will have to say, "Stop picking at that, I am going to change that anyway." And if enough people pick at it, it may start to bleed or something and you would not like that.

But then it'll leave a cool scar!