Poetry is art, too

For drawings and other artwork that don't necessarily have anything to do with Spamusement.
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Veepa
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Postby Veepa » Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:50 pm

FAKE POETRY IS ART TOO!

Okay, me and a friend started making fake poems after I grew annoyed that a certain poetry forum seemed to never make a negative comment towards any poem. We wanted to see if they were just full of poopcakes, and they were. We made complete rubbish that did not make sense at all, and they saw something in it. They refused to say a poem was bad. We were so annoyed at one point, that we pushed the limits.. And we wrote a love poem about a dog.. and it turned erotic. They quickly removed this one.

Firstly, our most recent poem.. which, sadly, was removed. It was only our third one that was removed. They said it was removed because of the foul language. They want to keep a family environment. Which apparently includes poems by a 14 year old girl talking about how she wants to bang her boyfriend in the middle of the street. (True Story.) Anyway... this one is clearly about Super Mario Bros... but we were hoping they'd just read into it as something deep:


I jump over the turtle, and skim his wings.
I soon discover I needed his self-absorbed shell so I could reach the block containing Life's Secrets.
I've ate too many mushrooms, but I can't stop now
I jump on him and he surrenders.
Is it murder? His body goes flying down a pit of no return.
If I want to succeed, I have to forget about him and move on.
There's a flagpost up ahead, what do I do? I'm jumpin' and I'm slidin'... what the sh*t.. I'm underground.
It's dark down here. I notice that the enemies are pretty much the same but they look a little different.
I work my way through the bricks and b*tches.. Why am I fightin' this war? I'm just a mother lovin' plumber!
I finally get through. What kind've world is this? Christ, why are there so many f*cking fish flying around?
I finally reach a grey fortress. That thing was full of flames! After all this trouble, I better get to bang this princess!
She's pretty hot, I'd certainly like to get with her. I better watch out for the lava pits and random fireballs.
I finally slap that dino-dragon down off the bridge ... But, wait, what's this? The skank ain't in this castle!
I proceed to World 2. I have a feeling things are about to get wacky.
Half the turtles have wings, and a giant gat is shootin' missiles.
Oh God, the missles have facial expressions. I better duck.
Speaking of ducks, the turtles have beaks. That has no affect on my mission, but seriously what's up with that?
Forget rational explanations, I have to bang the princess.
I get a little further, and suddenly I'm swimmin'.. A squid is gettin' close, I better throw some fiery balls at that pimp.
Fireballs deep in the water? Something isn't right here. Regardless, one of them hits and it makes an odd click like noise and the squid falls through the ocean floor. Huh?
I finally reach that pipe, and this one ain't for smokin'.. I shoot up to the surface and my clothes are mother f*ckin' soakin' !
I make plans to call the local mayor and request someone build a bridge over this body of water. Maybe it would make his town look better if people didn't have to swim for a mile while wrestling squids.
All this trash don't matter now, 'cause I still got more levels to go. There's some weird lookin' tortoise sh*t throwin' heavy tools at my ass.
This guy must be leveled out on cocaine. I'm not even in his range, but he still seems adamant about throwing hammers at me.
I hit a block under that b*tch, and his ass went flyin'.. I keep on movin' right along, my men are gettin' low 'cause my ass keeps dyin'.
Just when I think things are at their worst, I enter this place made out of small platforms. "F*ck", I say to myself... "I don't approve of this situation at all."
I take a giant leap for man kind, from one platform to the other. I barely made that last jump, I guess I was just lookin' for trouble.
I can sense the end; I don't have the juice to make it. Before I die, I must know who had the patience to construct this place.
I'm at the last jump.. Oh f*ck! My timing is off! My feet ain't hittin' the ground, my face is hittin' the pavement.
I should've examined the jump instead of blindly going forth with it. This is the end; I have no more lives. I'll try again later though, because I saved it earlier.


I'll post some more later.
Long live the new flesh.

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Dusk
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Postby Dusk » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:25 pm

LOL

Oh man, people are crap.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.

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maychorian
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Postby maychorian » Mon Jan 15, 2007 10:49 pm

Veepa, that's a horrible poem. It has no sense of rhythm or imagery, no central idea, nothing at all to recommend it. It made absolutely no sense, and if it did, I don't think I want to know about it. I couldn't even finish reading it.

Happy now?
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kupo
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Postby kupo » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:10 am

Veepa wrote:Oh God, the missles have facial expressions.


That was the best sentence I have ever read.
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Nik
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Postby Nik » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:18 am

I'm parital to:

Veepa wrote:A squid is gettin' close, I better throw some fiery balls at that pimp.
Image
Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.

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Lisle
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Postby Lisle » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:28 pm

I bought a book called "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven" (basis for the film "Smoke Signals" ... it comes highly recommended) for a project I am doing in my Road Narrative course. The author, Sherman Alexie, in his introduction, states: "I'm a poet who can whine in meter."

made me think of this thread, for some reason.

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Veepa
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Postby Veepa » Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:14 pm

Alrighty, here's another fakey. I loved this one because we intentionally spelled out something with the first letter of each line. Take a look! I was hoping someone in the poetry forum would catch it, but nope.

AAAND as an added bonus under the poem I included some of the comments they gave this poem. Good stuff. The most over-used compliment they give seems to be "it has great imagery."

Glaring light beams at the door.
Under a bridge, a man shines.
Yet his palm still sweats, as you look up his skirt.

Over the bridge, a baby tumbles.
No one cares for the feathered beaver, fleeing the bandit.

Geese rampage of the aroma of a table cloth turkey dinner.
Understanding this pain left me with a warped state of graces.
Yonder the man with tails of tales.

Alas, my travels hath brought me here.
Carnage, pain, upset, you can't have it if you want it.
Talking heads lined up across the line, speaking spokes.
In a field of cream, the apple&orange conspiracy reigns.
On and on, we strike the sets of varied alliances.
Now the end is near and the personified objects aren't aware...


-"Very deep and powerful write. Excellent play of words and images. Keep it up"

-"some great images you have put to this poem,
very strong feelings they reflect.
very well done"

-"Interesting images here.
I liked this.
Strong feelings."

-"This was an interesting poem. I liked the imagery it had. Kudos to you on this."
Long live the new flesh.

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Zombie Protestor
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Postby Zombie Protestor » Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:26 pm

Veepa wrote:...spelled out something with the first letter of each line.


Acrostic
This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.

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Circuitous
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Postby Circuitous » Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:33 pm

They're like poetry-geared spambots with no sense of what's really happening.
Tatsumakisenpuukyaku!

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Dusk
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Postby Dusk » Tue Jan 16, 2007 7:11 pm

Veepa wrote:-"some great images you have put to this poem,
very strong feelings they reflect.

haha That's two thumbs up from Yoda.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.

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giantsfan97
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Postby giantsfan97 » Tue Jan 16, 2007 8:12 pm

Veepa wrote:the feathered beaver
hahahahaha
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!

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kupo
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Postby kupo » Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:15 am

giantsfan97 wrote:
Veepa wrote:the feathered beaver
hahahahaha


That's something you'd like to see, eh eh? *wink wink nudge nudge*
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giantsfan97
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Postby giantsfan97 » Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:45 pm

kupo wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:
Veepa wrote:the feathered beaver
hahahahaha


That's something you'd like to see, eh eh? *wink wink nudge nudge*

To be honest, I'm not really sure.
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!

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Circuitous
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Postby Circuitous » Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:08 pm

S'like furry porn, but with feathers.
Tatsumakisenpuukyaku!

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kupo
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Postby kupo » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:46 pm

Circuitous wrote:S'like furry porn, but with feathers.


Hahha BIRD VAGINAS.
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Dusk
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Postby Dusk » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:48 pm

I've often wondered if birds urinate.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.

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James
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Postby James » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:49 pm

WHAT DID YOU THINK RAIN WAS?!
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Dusk
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Postby Dusk » Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:15 pm

Cloud smegma.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.

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Nik
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Postby Nik » Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:01 pm

Dusk Bringer wrote:Cloud smegma.


*vomit*
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.

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James
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Postby James » Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:25 pm

No, I don't think either of those things is fluid enough.
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Robert
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Postby Robert » Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:52 pm

Any poetry that I put in this thread will probably be submitted for publication in a book of amateur writing my university puts out each year. Please, any criticisms or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


Nuclear Power Is Equivalent to McDonalds--Twice!

We are the Cannibal Scientists.
Don’t confuse us with those barbarians,
The Scientist Cannibals.
Such backward folk, with their
Trite, tribal religion and
Lab coats made of pelt.

We follow in the glorious tradition of
Bacon, Newton, and Einstein;
If we happen to enjoy
A different kind of meat,
Just who are you to judge?
ntw3001 wrote:Steer clear of Robert or James though. I generally get those two mixed up for no reason, even if it's with people I've known for years. There must be something sinister going on.

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James
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Postby James » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:16 pm

James wrote:WHAT DID YOU THINK RAIN WAS?!

WAIT A MINUTE!

James wrote:When it rains it's actually just one great big bukkake.
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Daniel.
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Postby Daniel. » Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:55 pm

I want to have sex on the beach
The beach of death
The beach of poopcakes
The beach of you

I want to cry one thousand tears
One thousand tears exactly
I want to paint a picture
A picture with your tears
A picture of you crying
Crying with my tears

I want to hear your soul
In gothic drone tempo
Eat my own arms
And buy a gun
A gun to kill
A gun to love
I want to die
Next to you
Figuratively
But also
Literally

I wank into roses. Black ones.

Feel my pain.

Literally.
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James
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Postby James » Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:59 pm

I'm jealous of your talent.
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Dusk
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Postby Dusk » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:00 pm

I am moved.

..in the bowels.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.


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