Amusing News Articles

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Amusing News Articles

Postby Nik » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:29 pm

I post enough of these, so I feel like making a thread for them.


Man Accused Of Dancing Naked In His Backyard

Children Claim Suspect Was 'Staring At Them And Gyrating His Hips Naked'
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby Skimba » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:37 pm

Hahahaha, Nik.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16255785/?GT1=8816

Short but sweet. Goooooooooooooo snakes!
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Postby Siirenias » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:37 pm

From the privacy of his own residence, no less! That scoundrel!

EDIT: Darwin Strikes Again!
There is no link here. Just move along...
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Postby Zombie Protestor » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:03 pm

Weird News

Where you get things like this little gem.
Last edited by Zombie Protestor on Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.
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Postby Skimba » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:08 pm

Image
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Postby Nik » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:10 pm

:(
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby Zombie Protestor » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:12 pm

Well, they're living in a van, now they just have to live down by the river.

Yo soy Matt Foley, y yo VIVO...en un VAN...CIRCA DEL RIO!
Last edited by Zombie Protestor on Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby catastrophile » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:14 pm

Oooooooh, defyin' the man
Oooooooh, livin' in a van
Hop on in, we'll park where we can
Oooooooh, livin' in a van . . .

*flees from nik-wrath*
[/bastard]
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Postby Siirenias » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:18 pm

Zombie Protestor wrote:Well, they're living in a van, now they just have to live down by the river.


Chris Farley's ghost approves.

EDIT: I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE
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Postby DMEnduro » Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:08 pm

I am also experienced with wood.
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Postby catastrophile » Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:16 pm

Hahahaha that's terrible. :(

I was expecting something to do with the Irwin child.

EDIT: Article's behind a registration wall, but . . .
People who refuse to obtain health insurance could be tracked down by the state or a private contractor, enrolled in a plan and fined until they pay their premiums under one proposal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration is considering as part of his vision for covering all Californians.

:shock:

. . .

:shock:

. . .

Jeebus f@cking Chrism, are these people out of their f@cking minds?

. . .

:x
[/bastard]
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Postby mrgazpacho » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:12 am

catastrophile wrote:Article's behind a registration wall, but . . .
People who refuse to obtain health insurance could be tracked down by the state or a private contractor, enrolled in a plan and fined until they pay their premiums under one proposal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's administration is considering as part of his vision for covering all Californians.



Kyle Reese in The Terminator wrote:He'll find her. That's what he does. That's all he does! You can't stop him. He'll wade through you, reach down her throat, and pull her rickin'-frackin' heart out.
--
Chris

bottlecap wrote:I give this cartoon special boner happy prize.
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Postby PonderThis » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:33 am

Ha ha! And you Californians thought that calling him "The Governator" was a joke ...
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Postby chrismachine » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:18 pm

catastrophile wrote:Jeebus f@cking Chrism

not even Pixie could draw that. although Veepa likely could, not that I'd want to see it.
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Postby catastrophile » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:31 pm

LOLz.

Careful, I have pictures of you and Jeebus, and porn images to paste your heads on.

This story isn't particularly amusing, but the headline is awesome:



EDIT: . . . I guess nobody else thinks the thought of lesbians hacking each other with chainsaws is funny. Anyway, here's something that amuses me more every time I think about it. And here's the latest update on it.

EDIT: LOLZ
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Postby chrismachine » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:03 pm

haha, that AA thing was hilarious. the dilbert one was ok, but all that humour was removed by the first 3 commenters who tried way too hard to by funny.
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Veepa wrote:Very wise words, Master Tiny Legs.
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Postby James » Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:47 am

catastrophile wrote:


EDIT: . . . I guess nobody else thinks the thought of lesbians hacking each other with chainsaws is funny.

Oh, I do, but by the time I'd sent the link to Daniel I forgot what was going on and went off to do something else. IT WAS FUNNY, THOUGH.

catastrophile wrote:Anyway, here's something that amuses me more every time I think about it. And here's the latest update on it.

Awesome.
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Postby catastrophile » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:45 am

Another really-only-good-for-the-headline story:
Boy, 7, Finds Nearly $9,000 Worth of Crack in Pocket
[/bastard]
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Postby SemiNomad » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:49 am

I don't know, I was amused by how they compared the size of the crack rock with a cookie.
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Postby Chrono Crow » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:51 am

catastrophile wrote:Another really-only-good-for-the-headline story:
Boy, 7, Finds Nearly $9,000 Worth of Crack in Pocket


I was hoping it'd be in his pants pocket. While he was wearing them. Like just out of nowhere, he sticks his hand into his pocket and finds crack. The teacher probably told him it was kool-aid.
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Postby James » Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:47 am

403 Forbidden!
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Postby giantsfan97 » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:28 pm

Alec Baldwin goes batshit crazy on his 11 (or 12) year old daughter!



Actually, I bet a lot of kids get yelled at worse than this. BUT HE'S A CELEBRITY SO ITS FUNNY
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby Dusk » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:38 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:Actually, I bet a lot of kids get yelled at worse than this. BUT HE'S A CELEBRITY SO ITS FUNNY


The next time you post something like this I'M GONNA COME OUT THERE FOR THE DAY!!
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Postby PonderThis » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:01 pm

Why am I still astounded at what stupid poopcakes passes for "news" nowadays, just because a "celeb" does it? Gaaaaah.
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Postby catastrophile » Fri Apr 20, 2007 4:40 pm

Noozertainment. It's all become one.

Sort of like rap, hip-hop, and pop, only much sadder for its impact on society.

Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing ... keeping his mouth shut

. . . and letting his spokesperson hold up his end of the shouting match.
[/bastard]
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