Wait, what?

[Mimiheart]

This is my classroom supply box for the entire year.

For some reason, I've been humming, "one of these things is not like the others" all day.

10 washable markers
10 pencils
a stapler
those little hole protector thingies
a pocket-pack of Kleenex (I told the students they weren't allowed to have a cold, since this was all we get.)
a can opener

[Dusk]

10 washable markers
10 pencils
a stapler
those little hole protector thingies
a pocket-pack of Kleenex (I told the students they weren't allowed to have a cold, since this was all we get.)
a can opener

That sort of thing makes me angry.

[chrismachine]

that sort of thing makes me feel lucky.

[catastrophile]

Perhaps they have some sort of elaborate barter system in mind. You can either trade your can opener for something else, or charge a fee for opening other teachers' random cans.

Dude, I think I just invented the new Sims expansion pack.

[katzenkoenig]

you... get tissues from your school?

[Mimiheart]

you... get tissues from your school?

yes
But this is a tiny package of tissues, there's maybe ten actual tissues in the package.

Considering allergies around here, the tissues will come in handy. At least for a day. The can opener, not so much.

[Mimiheart]

Perhaps they have some sort of elaborate barter system in mind. You can either trade your can opener for something else, or charge a fee for opening other teachers' random cans.

Dude, I think I just invented the new Sims expansion pack.

Oooh, I like your idea. I don't know WHY anyone would need a can opened in a Hebrew school. But hey... it's worth a shot.

Now to figure out what I'm supposed to write on the board with...

[Dusk]

I think this would make a great news story.
Nik?

[loofah]

...a can opener

That's for the problem kids.
Don't believe me? Ask the other teachers if they have can openers.

[Mimiheart]

...a can opener

That's for the problem kids.
Don't believe me? Ask the other teachers if they have can openers.

[giantsfan97]

those little hole protector thingies

to protect their little holes from pedophiles?

*goes to jail*

[DarthCat]

I'm guessing "little hole protectors" wasn't meant to be slang for "police officers", geoff. I think you're safe for now.

[Mimiheart]

those little hole protector thingies

to protect their little holes from pedophiles?

*goes to jail*

No, asshat.

I don't know what they're called, they're circular stickers that you're supposed to put on the holes in paper for three-ring binders. However I don't think I've ever seen them used for anything other than decoration.

[DarthCat]

Well they help if you ripped the paper and you want to stick that paper into a three-ring. That's their function, right there. I've used them a few times.

[loofah]

I don't know what they're called, they're circular stickers that you're supposed to put on the holes in paper for three-ring binders. However I don't think I've ever seen them used for anything other than decoration.

reinforcers.

[Saltine]

Or "reinforcements", which was the first definition I had for that word. Hence I have weird mental images associated with such clichéd TV police-speak as "Send in the reinforcements!"

Also:

》inventory
You have:
10 washable markers
10 pencils
a stapler
those little hole protector thingies
a pocket-pack of Kleenex
a can opener

》examine can opener
It is a common can opener, the kind with a serrated wheel that rolls and cuts around the rim of a can.

》use can opener
There doesn't seem to be a can here.

》drop can opener
Dropped.

》examine those little hole protector thingies
They're called "reinforcements".

[James]

Or "reinforcements", which was the first definition I had for that word. Hence I have weird mental images associated with such clichéd TV police-speak as "Send in the reinforcements!"

I had a similar thought, only with a more dystopian future police state vibe to it. I guess I'm thinking they're like backup "enforcers" or something.

[Nyperold]

Here come the reinforcements!

[Mimiheart]

Well they help if you ripped the paper and you want to stick that paper into a three-ring. That's their function, right there. I've used them a few times.

My kids don't use three-ring binders--or even have them. For that matter, we don't even use three-ring notebook paper.

Oh, and there's no staples for the stapler, just a stapler.

[Mimiheart]

Here come the reinforcements!

Win.

[Nik]

I think this would make a great news story.
Nik?

Thanks, Dusk.

A local school was busted for serving alcohol to minors today when a teacher was perplexed with one of the required supplies for her students: a can opener.
"One of these things is not like the other," the teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, commented. Indeed it wasn't. Hidden among items such as markers, tissues and those little hole protector thingies (known to the scientific community as "reinforcements").
Calls were placed to the school, but there was no answer. It is unknown whether the school will amend the supplies list, or provide chalk for the teachers to write on the board. Some speculate that perhaps the can opener was to be used in place of chalk, and teach the classes a lesson in prehistoric art and cave drawings.

[PonderThis]

Here come the reinforcements!

Win.

Yes, very much so.

[James]

What kind of dodgy alcohol comes in cans that don't have ring-pulls? Or was that not the point of the story?

I do like the idea of drinking some sort of very cheap and very alcoholic beverage out of a tin rather than a drinks can, though. It's amusingly undignified.

[catastrophile]

New Mad Hobo fortified wine! Look for it in the canned goods section!

[DarthCat]

Well, since hobos distill their moonshine in big ol' barrels down by the train tracks, I guess tins would be the logical progression for selling smaller quantities of their 'shine. Hrm...