Random IM's

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Random IM's

Postby giantsfan97 » Wed May 21, 2008 8:14 pm

Ok so I often get random IM's from people who think I am someone named "MJ". I used to calmly explain that they had the wrong screen name. But now I am so annoyed with it (and the fact that they don't believe me and won't shutup) that I am going to corrupt them. With Nik's help, here is corruption #1:

Betsy14dog: DO u no samantha
giantsfan97: no, but I yes samantha
Betsy14dog: yea she likes u....do u no who i am
giantsfan97: Samantha's a lesbian?
Betsy14dog: WAT no she is NOT
giantsfan97: well, then it must have been her mom in my bed last night
Betsy14dog: wait r u MJ
giantsfan97: Michael Jackson?
Betsy14dog: do u no Matt Lumbardo
giantsfan97: i think i gave him a blowjob at a party once
Betsy14dog: do u go 2 auten road
giantsfan97: i did before i got arrested. now they wont let me within 500 feet of any schools
Betsy14dog: okayyy cant u type any faster
giantsfan97: well im typing with one hand...
Betsy14dog: y
Betsy14dog signed off at 8:07:43 PM.
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby Kerberos » Wed May 21, 2008 8:35 pm

I think they want to know if you're high, or maybe if you can supply them with marijuana.
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Postby PonderThis » Thu May 22, 2008 9:39 am

Brilliant. 8)
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Postby Binkatron5000 » Thu May 22, 2008 2:25 pm

Haha! Moar!
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Postby MysticalDescent » Thu May 22, 2008 3:31 pm

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Postby Gelatine Cow » Thu May 22, 2008 8:17 pm

MysticalDescent wrote:Big picture

Alt + PrtScn
And that's terrible.
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Postby Dusk » Thu May 22, 2008 8:52 pm

LOL
Binkatron5000 wrote:Haha! Moar!

This.
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.
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Postby giantsfan97 » Tue May 27, 2008 8:27 pm

sades333: hey whats up
giantsfan97: who is this?
sades333: rachels friend from the skate park that one time
sades333: remember
giantsfan97: did we have sex?
sades333: no
sades333: whats wrong with you
sades333: sicko
sades333: god
sades333: freak
giantsfan97: well i dont always remember the girls i have sex with
giantsfan97: i dont see how that makes me a freak
sades333: how old are you
sades333: what r u like 11
sades333: god you freak
giantsfan97: wait, how old are you?
sades333: you tell me how old you r first
giantsfan97: old enough
sades333: last time you were like 10
sades333: and that was just 3 month ago
giantsfan97: 10 inches sounds about right, i doubt i grew much since then
sades333: no you were 10 years old
sades333: welll
giantsfan97: so wait how old are you
sades333: how old r u first tell me then ill tell you
giantsfan97: did we make out at least?
sades333: no
sades333: no
sades333: no
sades333: no
sades333: no
giantsfan97: what the hell why did i even talk to you then if you didnt put out
sades333: idk well do you remember rachel
giantsfan97: did i have sex with her?
sades333: NNO
sades333: NO
sades333: NO
sades333: NO
sades333: NO
sades333: NO
sades333: NO
giantsfan97: well how would you know, she probably wouldnt have told you
sades333: SHES MY BEST FREND
giantsfan97: so
sades333: AND SHE HAD AND STILL HAS A BOYFRIEND
giantsfan97: 3-some?
giantsfan97: girls arent always faithful you know
sades333: SHE LOVES HER BOYFRIEND AND YOUR A PERV SO GOOD BIE
sades333 signed off at 8:24:06 PM.
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby Kerberos » Tue May 27, 2008 9:25 pm

Oh man, these are better entry-for-entry than the Something Awful ICQ pranks.
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Postby kzager » Tue May 27, 2008 10:40 pm

Niceness. I wish people would still randomly IM me so I could do this poopcakes.

...

And so I'd feel less alone.
:(
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Postby MysticalDescent » Wed May 28, 2008 3:33 pm

GOOD BIE
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Postby kupo » Fri May 30, 2008 6:03 pm

gf, I love you. You're so goddamn hysterical.
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Postby giantsfan97 » Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:10 pm

StaRssA41: hey
giantsfan97: whos this
StaRssA41: julian
StaRssA41: its my new screen name
giantsfan97: are you the guy i hooked up with last night? sorry i forgot your name
StaRssA41: wat
StaRssA41: its julian
StaRssA41: Coto
StaRssA41: u came over my house on the last day of school wit chris
giantsfan97: we had a 3 way? i kinda remember that
StaRssA41: wat r u talkiin about
giantsfan97: look im usually drunk when these things happen im sorry if i dont remember it well
StaRssA41: do u even remember ur name
giantsfan97: of course i just dont remember the names of the guys i sleep with
StaRssA41: o
StaRssA41: then wat is ur name
StaRssA41: and u didnt sleepm wit me'
giantsfan97: im pretty sure i sucked your dick while getting fucked from behind
StaRssA41: r u ok
giantsfan97: well i might have syphilis but other than that im fine
StaRssA41: then wat is ur name\
giantsfan97: you can call me "master"
StaRssA41: wat is ur last name
giantsfan97: BATER
StaRssA41: wat school do u go to
giantsfan97: i dont understand the word "wat"... did you mean to write "twat"?
StaRssA41: no
StaRssA41: wat
StaRssA41: is
StaRssA41: what
giantsfan97: well then why the fork didnt you write what
giantsfan97: i cant believe i fucked you, you are an idiot
StaRssA41: u have issues
giantsfan97: im not the retard... im just the person who sucked the retard off
StaRssA41: alright, who the fork is this.
StaRssA41: i dont know who the fork you are, this isn't julian anymore. but whoever the fork you are, when i find out if you dont tell me. your pretty rickin'-frackin' screwed.
StaRssA41: alright? cool.
giantsfan97: did i fork you also?
StaRssA41: and if this isnt MJ, quit iming my brother or i can garuntee you i will find out who you are and your fucked.
giantsfan97: HE IM'D ME GENIUS
giantsfan97: lololololol
StaRssA41: well genius his friend used to have this screen name.
StaRssA41: what fucked up kinda kid are you
StaRssA41: god dang.
giantsfan97: what kind of fucked up kid is he? having 3 ways with his friends...
StaRssA41: 1. he didnt. 2. what kind of a fucked up person are you to mess with people. like are you that big of a pussy to do that and not give your real name?
StaRssA41: ha thats chill kid.
StaRssA41: grow the fuckk up and get a fuckin life.
StaRssA41 signed off at 5:05:33 PM.
giantsfan97: lolz
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby Skimba » Wed Jul 02, 2008 5:25 pm

HAhahahaha...awesome.

I've tried typing back to some of the random IMs I get, but they all end up being spam-bots.
Well, so far anyway.
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Postby Nik » Wed Jul 02, 2008 8:50 pm

You have the best screenname for this stuff, gif.
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby giantsfan97 » Wed Jul 02, 2008 10:56 pm

I was particularly proud of the part where I said my last name was Bater.
I love this post so much I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant!
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Postby kzager » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:03 pm

Yes. That part got a good chuckle.

Nik wrote:You have the best screenname for this stuff, gif.

Giant S Fan.
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Postby Watery_tart » Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:57 am

heh, this is great :lol:

I should try it sometime

I get people looking for this blondish teenage girl who is NOT me all the time

And they refuse the believe I'm not her.

Even with the Dame Edna avatar

I love how the last one asks you if you're ok :p
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Postby Dusk » Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:34 am

Won't somebody think of the children?
EvilJekyll wrote:To summarise, people will always people.
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Postby Jemry » Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:15 am

There are some foreign guys on my list that I'd pull poopcakes like that on, except they hardly speak a word of english.
http://www.myspace.com/jemry C WHUT I DID THAR. I'M SO DECEPTIVE.

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Postby Zombie Protestor » Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:30 am

This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.
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Postby quetzalcoatlus » Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:14 pm

This dude was definitely specifically trying to screw with me in the first place. But I tried to screw with him back... with excessively correct english. Or something. Screennames changed to protect the I don't really know why I bothered to censor his screenname when no one else is:

***** (1:29:41 PM): What kind of panties are you wearing? ODINALA?
DestroyAllTacoz (1:35:55 PM): The kind of panties I am wearing are boxer shorts.
DestroyAllTacoz (1:36:24 PM): This is because I am a man.
***** (1:37:38 PM): wanna tinker with my stinker??
DestroyAllTacoz (1:37:54 PM): I do not, good sir
***** (1:38:23 PM): you do not what?
DestroyAllTacoz (1:40:31 PM): I do not wish to repair your device that emits an offensive odor.
****** (1:41:07 PM): 1: it's not an, it's a.2: i think you're sexy
DestroyAllTacoz (1:47:02 PM): "offensive" starts with a vowel sound, so it should in fact be "an".
****** (1:47:49 PM): sure.
DestroyAllTacoz (1:51:01 PM): However, if I had said "an unique odor", I would have in fact been incorrect, because unique starts with a y sound.
DestroyAllTacoz (1:51:11 PM): Y is sometimes considered a vowel, but not in this situation.
******* (1:53:50 PM): yeth, i'm aware. what's your name
DestroyAllTacoz (1:54:16 PM): My name is Mike.
******* (1:54:51 PM): What's your last name?
DestroyAllTacoz (1:55:00 PM): Quetzalcoatlus
******** (1:55:25 PM): oh i'm sure it is. really, what is it?
DestroyAllTacoz (1:55:48 PM): No, that's really it.
******* (1:57:13 PM): mhmm. why are you im'ing me?
DestroyAllTacoz (1:57:47 PM): I believe that you are the one who first sent a message to me
******** (1:58:45 PM): ha. except not really.
DestroyAllTacoz (2:00:04 PM): You instant messaged me and asked a question regarding my intimate apparel. If we have communicated previously, I do not recall such a thing happening
****** (2:01:56 PM): you im'ed me earlier, and this is just a belated reply.
DestroyAllTacoz (2:03:43 PM): It must have been while i was drinking bleach.
****** (2:05:42 PM): orly? how'd you get my porn star name in the first place?
***** signed off at 2:05:42 PM.
***** is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.


I am pretty sure I never IMed that guy. I generally do tell strangers online that my last name is Quetzalcoatlus if they ask.
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Postby Skimba » Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:23 pm

Why doesn't anyone use english or real words anymore?
Quetz - that wasn't to you.
I especially enjoy the "why are you talking to me?" parts of all these when, in fact, they did IM you folks first.
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Postby Nik » Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:57 pm

Skimba wrote:Why doesn't anyone use english or real words anymore?
Quetz - that wasn't to you.
I especially enjoy the "why are you talking to me?" parts of all these when, in fact, they did IM you folks first.


I know. I see the chats in Kongregate, and I correct people all the time. But then I get frustrated, and I give up. It makes me cringe.
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Veepa wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:Nik = least threatening person on this board :D

Dude, she's like 8 feet tall.
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Postby James » Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:32 pm

Whilst I value good English, this is something to consider.
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