Random IM's

by **catastrophile** » Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:36 pm

James wrote:Whilst I value good English, this is something to consider.

ZOMG THAT GUY KNOWS HOUSE!

by **giantsfan97** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:06 pm

MYSTERY SOLVED!!!!!

GGFantast: hey
giantsfan97: whos this?
GGFantast: marissa
giantsfan97: hmm i dont know anyone named marissa i think you may have gotten the wrong screen name
GGFantast: well
GGFantast: im in the same gym as u
giantsfan97: lol i am in college i dont have "gym" anymore
giantsfan97: i think you may have gotten the wrong screen name
GGFantast: o
GGFantast: is this mj
giantsfan97: nope it isnt
giantsfan97: let me ask you something
GGFantast: k
giantsfan97: where did you get this screen name from
GGFantast: well i was lookin at ur pro and saw ur comments
giantsfan97: what profile? on what website
GGFantast: for aim
giantsfan97: my profile only says "I bELIeve!"
GGFantast: befor it was different
giantsfan97: the reason i ask is because i get IM'd like twice a week from people just like you who think i am some kid named MJ
GGFantast: it is
giantsfan97: and i really want to know how they get my screen name
giantsfan97: and why they think i am him
GGFantast: amani says hey MJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on ur pro
giantsfan97: do you understand that i am not MJ
GGFantast: ill ask claire then
giantsfan97: please do
GGFantast: she said its mj
giantsfan97: wow yuo guys are idiots
GGFantast: no
GGFantast: i know this is mj
GGFantast: im not stupid
giantsfan97: CLEARLY YOU ARE STUPID
giantsfan97: i am not MJ
giantsfan97: invite him over
giantsfan97: and ill still be here
GGFantast: its mj
giantsfan97: wow this conversation is about to get really awkward for you
GGFantast: how
giantsfan97: because i really want to fork you up your ass
GGFantast: excuse me
GGFantast: im just tryin to be nice
GGFantast: claire told me u were awesome so i wanted to meet u
giantsfan97: im really awesome
giantsfan97: but im not MJ
giantsfan97: and
GGFantast: well
giantsfan97: i cant wait to blow my load all over you and yuor friends faces
giantsfan97: because yuo are clearly a couple of whores
GGFantast: i know ur mj
GGFantast: so watev
giantsfan97: will you suck my dick then?
giantsfan97: clearly i am some dumb fork named MJ
giantsfan97: and you want my cock
GGFantast: watev
GGFantast: just leave me alone lier
giantsfan97: no way baby
giantsfan97: im going to touch your boob in gym class
giantsfan97: you will LOVE it
GGFantast: i dont like u
GGFantast: u dont even know me
giantsfan97: i dont know you? i spy on you all the time bitch
giantsfan97: i fucked your mom
giantsfan97: how could i know you any better
GGFantast: yeah...sure
GGFantast: if ur gonna lie at leats be good at it
giantsfan97: im not lying
giantsfan97: ill give you details
giantsfan97: her bush is really hairy
giantsfan97: just the way i like it
GGFantast: GGFantast (3:45:08 PM): giantsfan97
GGFantast (3:45:11 PM): who is that
dzjy08844 (3:45:14 PM): mj

GGFantast (3:45:22 PM): he said hes not
dzjy08844 (3:45:29 PM): well hes lying
GGFantast (3:45:43 PM): ha
giantsfan97: hahaha hey im fine with you thinking that i am MJ
giantsfan97: that way i can say whatever poopcakes i want
giantsfan97: and he gets the blame
giantsfan97: so seriously, are you a virgin or what
GGFantast: watev
giantsfan97: please dont cry
giantsfan97: MJ gets turned on when girls cry
GGFantast: ?
giantsfan97: lol
giantsfan97: you still think i am MJ huh
GGFantast: yeah
giantsfan97: why would MJ say all this to you
GGFantast: cuz he doesnt know me-only seen me
GGFantast: nvm
GGFantast: this isnt mj
giantsfan97: AMAZING I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH
GGFantast: 'well
GGFantast: his aim is gaintsfan97
giantsfan97: well this is giantsfan97
giantsfan97: theres a difference
GGFantast: yea
GGFantast: i know
giantsfan97: tell him to stop giving out MY rickin'-frackin' screen name
GGFantast: hes not
giantsfan97: and tell him to learn how to spell GIANTS
GGFantast: watev
GGFantast: by
giantsfan97: THANKS FOR PLAYING
GGFantast: leave me alone
GGFantast: who is this tho
giantsfan97: you should probably block me
giantsfan97: because this poopcakes is hilarious for me
giantsfan97: and ill keep going
GGFantast: who is this
GGFantast: wats ur name
giantsfan97: i love how you think you might somehow know me based on my first name
giantsfan97: just because my screen name is similar to some kid you knows screen name
giantsfan97: that means i live near you?
GGFantast signed off at 4:03:41 PM.

by **kzager** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:35 pm

Gif.

I love you.
I don't care if you love me back.

-Kyle

by **sum yun gai** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:45 pm

is this the end of "Random IM's"??? tune in next week to find out!

dun dun DUN!

by **giantsfan97** » Thu Jan 29, 2009 12:17 am

draculahunter wrote:Gif.

I love you.
I don't care if you love me back.

-Kyle

You have stroked my ego nicely.

I can't even tell you guys how satisfying it was to finally find out why these people have been IM'ing me.

I've had so many more of these that I didn't post, although most of the time I just ignore them as soon as I realize that they are looking for MJ.

I will give him credit for one thing though, he seems to be quite popular with the ladies.

by **giantsfan97** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:41 pm

PREFACE TO THIS NEXT ONE:

I have nothing against Jews, just idiots.
Also the first part of the conversation where I told this person that I'm not who they think I am is cut off.

evildramaqueen94: wat skool do u go to?\
giantsfan97: why on earth do you think i want to talk to you
evildramaqueen94: r u Jewish
evildramaqueen94: if u r ill talk 2 u
giantsfan97: no i hate jews
evildramaqueen94: if not bye

evildramaqueen94: ok bi
evildramaqueen94: and they hate u
evildramaqueen94: wat ru muslim
giantsfan97: too bad their opinion doesnt matter
giantsfan97: because they are jewish
evildramaqueen94: so they have a diffrent religion then u
evildramaqueen94: do u belve in god
giantsfan97: i dont belve in anything
giantsfan97: i dont even know what that means
evildramaqueen94: well how do birds fly
evildramaqueen94: how r humands alive
evildramaqueen94: hoo made us
giantsfan97: how is babby formed?
evildramaqueen94: g-d created them and he sent them to a stomache of aladdy\\
evildramaqueen94: so ther has to be a g-d
giantsfan97: so you just believe anything adults tell you without questioning it?
evildramaqueen94: ya but there is a g-d
evildramaqueen94: rite
giantsfan97: nobody can prove that there is
giantsfan97: nobody can prove that there isnt
giantsfan97: but we do know that people make babies, not god
evildramaqueen94: hoo sedxs down the baby to them they make it and who brings it alive
giantsfan97: nope he doesnt send anything
giantsfan97: all the parts are already there
evildramaqueen94: u belive in a stupid cross
giantsfan97: do i believe that there is such a thing as a cross? yes
evildramaqueen94: ya wat does that do
giantsfan97: it does nothing
giantsfan97: its an inanimate object
evildramaqueen94: so how do u bleive in it
giantsfan97: i believe that there is such a thing as a cross
giantsfan97: look
giantsfan97: t
giantsfan97: thats a cross
giantsfan97: x
giantsfan97: thats a cross too
evildramaqueen94: obviosuly
giantsfan97: + so is that
giantsfan97: well dont ask stupid questions then if the answer is obvious
evildramaqueen94: because i didn't mean it that way
giantsfan97: well then say it how you mean it
evildramaqueen94: you know how i meant it
giantsfan97: are you asking if i believe that jesus is the son of god?
evildramaqueen94: ur sooooooooo crazy Jews roxs
giantsfan97: yeah jews rock so much that you dont even know how babby is formed
evildramaqueen94: wat skool do u go to
evildramaqueen94: then why don't you tell me how
giantsfan97: a man puts his penis in a womans vagina until his sperm comes out and one of them meets her egg and the combine and it grows into a babby over 9 months
evildramaqueen94: ur masdd stupid
evildramaqueen94: we have to go
giantsfan97: ok i hope you die! bye!
evildramaqueen94: same to you
giantsfan97: at least you spelled that right
evildramaqueen94: do you even know how old i am?
giantsfan97: do you even know how babby is formed?
evildramaqueen94: do you even know how to spell baby?
evildramaqueen94: no answer?
giantsfan97: dont call me baby
evildramaqueen94: i want t\
giantsfan97: you want t?
giantsfan97: here you go
giantsfan97: t
giantsfan97: heres another
giantsfan97: t
evildramaqueen94: you know what?
evildramaqueen94: you should go learn some manners
evildramaqueen94: it is obvious that you attend yeshiva
giantsfan97: looks who's talking, YOU im'd ME and i said to leave me alone and YOU kept talking
evildramaqueen94: and that you are just being anal
evildramaqueen94: i said bye
evildramaqueen94: and all you did was continuosly im us
evildramaqueen94 signed off at 12:38:48 PM.

by **Nik** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 1:48 pm

I think my favorite part is when she was SO SURE you were a Christian or a Catholic because you said you weren't a jew.
Also, how self-righteous is she? Well, both people typing that conversation.
and my favorite part of all:
evildramaqueen94: you should go learn some manners
evildramaqueen94: it is obvious that you attend yeshiva.

by **James** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:00 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:I have nothing against Jews

Nice save.

Seriously though, I like that the person is apparently deciding whether to talk to people based on whether or not they're Jewish. Personally, I only talk to Lutherians. All other denominations and religions are a WASTE OF MY TIME.

by **giantsfan97** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:07 pm

She im'd me again, in bold and a huge font:

evildramaqueen94: loser
evildramaqueen94: weml
evildramaqueen94: WATEER MAJOR LOSER!!!!!!
evildramaqueen94 signed off at 1:03:35 PM.

weml?

by **Nik** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:09 pm

I think she's trying to tell us something!

by **Skimba** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:15 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:weml?

That's what I thought.

by **Clueless** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:35 pm

giantsfan97 wrote:weml?

I think it stands for "Whizzing Evil Muffin Laugh".

by **sum yun gai** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 2:37 pm

Skimba wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:weml?

That's what I thought.

apparently it stands for water major loser. so in other words, you are a watefall?

by **giantsfan97** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:33 pm

WHO IS THE LOSER NOW?

evildramaqueen94: hi
evildramaqueen94 signed off at 1:46:08 PM.
evildramaqueen94 signed on at 1:50:18 PM.
evildramaqueen94: just 2 tell u Jews roxs
evildramaqueen94: i am JEWISH and ur raciest to jewish people
evildramaqueen94: >:o
giantsfan97: you are a credit to your people
evildramaqueen94: crazy
giantsfan97: you almost know how to spell
evildramaqueen94: haha
evildramaqueen94: u r still beingraciest
evildramaqueen94: by the way i hatae the giants and u
giantsfan97: please dont hate me
giantsfan97: i need your love
evildramaqueen94: for the recourd jets rox
giantsfan97: oh yeah? when was the last time they won the super bowl?
evildramaqueen94: and i do not like people who are raciest to my religon and by the way i go to yeshiva and who ever hates Jewish people and your backround came from jacob and ashav so u and i are related so beat that
giantsfan97: why would i care if we are related
giantsfan97: you are still an idiot
giantsfan97: who has a large jewish nose
evildramaqueen94: o and u neede my love i hate u
giantsfan97: you are making me cry! and we are related! you are a bad relative
evildramaqueen94: ur still raciest
evildramaqueen94: not that way
evildramaqueen94: wat rade r u in
evildramaqueen94: wat grade r u in
giantsfan97: wat grade r u in
evildramaqueen94: ??????????
evildramaqueen94: i asked 1
giantsfan97: i asked 2
evildramaqueen94: hah
evildramaqueen94: im in 5th
evildramaqueen94: u?
evildramaqueen94: wat r u in
evildramaqueen94: ????????????????/???/????
giantsfan97: 15th
evildramaqueen94: wwat year r u born in
evildramaqueen94: were u born in
giantsfan97: 2001
giantsfan97: wwat year r u born in
evildramaqueen94: 1998
evildramaqueen94: ur a little 7 year old
evildramaqueen94: or 8
evildramaqueen94: wat skool do u go to'
evildramaqueen94: ??????????????
evildramaqueen94: no wonder i make u cry fast
giantsfan97: wat skool do u go to
giantsfan97: ??????????????
evildramaqueen94: ur in 2end grade or in third
evildramaqueen94: i go to hafter in wood mere
evildramaqueen94: wat skoool do u go to
evildramaqueen94: u live in great neck rite
giantsfan97: why do you think i live there
evildramaqueen94: wait wat skool do u go to
evildramaqueen94: tell me
evildramaqueen94: ?????????????????????
giantsfan97: i will only answer if you use more question marks
evildramaqueen94: i no everything u told me was a lie or should i say is a lie well thats the way non-Jews r srry
evildramaqueen94: ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

evildramaqueen94: /
/???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

evildramaqueen94: happy
giantsfan97: no im still sad
evildramaqueen94: haha]
giantsfan97: how is babby formed
evildramaqueen94: ill put more question marks after u answer me
evildramaqueen94: god makes it in heven the wen the parents do it and then g-d puts it in the ladys stomache couse she worked for it happy

evildramaqueen94: loser
giantsfan97: because she worked for it?
giantsfan97: she probably just laid there
giantsfan97: the man did all the work
evildramaqueen94: ya hoo gives the baby its heart????
evildramaqueen94: hoo givesa teh abilty so the parent s can make it
evildramaqueen94: how do birds fly hoo makes it fly?\
giantsfan97: nobody makes them fly
giantsfan97: its their choice
giantsfan97: they dont have to if they dont want to
evildramaqueen94: wen the first biird was on land how did it fly how is the a world here there r so many questions the answ3er is g-d how is g-d ther he was just ther get it tell ur parents to send u to yeshiva and ull learn and get all ur answers
evildramaqueen94: understand
giantsfan97: no i dont understand
giantsfan97: is god like santa claus?
giantsfan97: is he make believe
giantsfan97: how is babby formed?
evildramaqueen94: i answered it the parents make it how does it apper in the stomche
evildramaqueen94: there has to be a g-d hoo doose this
evildramaqueen94: how dose the baby apper with a brain
evildramaqueen94: ?????????
giantsfan97: maybe tha babby grows in mommys tummy
giantsfan97: maybe it starts small
evildramaqueen94: ya how dose it apper in the
evildramaqueen94: ya i understand theres an egg hows the egg there
giantsfan97: maybe the mom has an egg inside her already just like a bird
giantsfan97: maybe she can fly like a bird
evildramaqueen94: that makes no sense no matterr
evildramaqueen94: wat
evildramaqueen94: its ok i no u no ur rong
giantsfan97: its ok i no u no ur rnog
giantsfan97: u r very rong
evildramaqueen94: and im rite tell this to ur parent CONVERT
giantsfan97: if god is real why cant i see him
evildramaqueen94: i herd a stry that
giantsfan97: answer that huh
giantsfan97: ?????????
giantsfan97: answer
giantsfan97: why wont you answer
giantsfan97: you have no anser god is not real
giantsfan97: i win
evildramaqueen94: i no
evildramaqueen94: no1 nose
evildramaqueen94: a long time ago adamm was born g-d acctuly talked to him
giantsfan97: maybe adam made it up
giantsfan97: if he can see god why cant i
evildramaqueen94: he also talked to Avrahm and Jacob and Isic and Moses
giantsfan97: what if they are liars
giantsfan97: if they can see god why cant i
evildramaqueen94: no peppl passed it down
evildramaqueen94: they cant see god they can here him
giantsfan97: oh wait i think i hear him!
evildramaqueen94: and u cant here him b/c ur not holy enough only holy peppl i cant here him ethier
giantsfan97: i haer him!
evildramaqueen94: hahah
giantsfan97: he says that you are a dumb jew
giantsfan97: not very nice
evildramaqueen94: `
evildramaqueen94: io reported u
giantsfan97: i reported you first
evildramaqueen94: plzzzzzzzzz belive me i beg uuuuuuuuuuuuu
giantsfan97: you will not have aol anymore!!!
giantsfan97: ha ha haha
evildramaqueen94: +how do u no
giantsfan97: because my dad works for aol
evildramaqueen94: my grand pa made it up
giantsfan97: he will get you banned!
evildramaqueen94: ill tell my grandpa to take away ur name
evildramaqueen94: bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
giantsfan97: he cant my dad is the boss
giantsfan97: ha hahaa haha ha ha
evildramaqueen94: but my grand pa is the 1 who made up aim aolmail and instant mesenger'
evildramaqueen94: he nose everybodys sn and pass
evildramaqueen94: BYE NON-
evildramaqueen94: JEW
giantsfan97: i heard that jews are secretly lizards
evildramaqueen94 signed off at 2:32:16 PM.

by **kzager** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:40 pm

sum yun gai wrote:
Skimba wrote:
giantsfan97 wrote:weml?

That's what I thought.

apparently it stands for water major loser. so in other words, you are a watefall?

*stops chasing Gif*

*Goes to a river or a lake that he's used to*

by **Nik** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:40 pm

You get the best people.

Also, I read the last line just before picking up the phone at work and I was still laughing a little.

by **giantsfan97** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 3:46 pm

a couple minutes later... this happened:

somanyhrsheykiss: excuse me?
giantsfan97: you are excused
somanyhrsheykiss: it is ur girl friend
somanyhrsheykiss: ur sooooooooooo hot
giantsfan97: i dont have a girlfriend
somanyhrsheykiss: are we on for tonight?
somanyhrsheykiss: i love u
somanyhrsheykiss: we r in the same skool
giantsfan97: i dont go to school
somanyhrsheykiss: ya ill only be ur loved 1 if u answer mu question
somanyhrsheykiss: 43.
giantsfan97: thats not a question
giantsfan97: thas a numer
somanyhrsheykiss: isnt your name daniel
somanyhrsheykiss: ?
giantsfan97: no sir
somanyhrsheykiss: then wat
somanyhrsheykiss: honey
somanyhrsheykiss: ?
giantsfan97: ?
somanyhrsheykiss: ?

somanyhrsheykiss: i will on ly be ur loved 1 if u convert to Jewdiisem
somanyhrsheykiss: ok
somanyhrsheykiss: r u married
giantsfan97: whats jewdiisem
somanyhrsheykiss: TURN TO A JEWISH
giantsfan97: A JEWISH WAT
somanyhrsheykiss: G-D
giantsfan97: A JEWISH GOD>??!
giantsfan97: HOW
somanyhrsheykiss: JEWISH PERSON
giantsfan97: no u said god
somanyhrsheykiss: UR SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOW G-D
giantsfan97: you cant take it back or you are a liar
giantsfan97: and liars get thrown in a german oven
somanyhrsheykiss: YA UR GRANDPARENT WERE I NOTZZIE RITE IAND ITS NOT FARE FOR THE JEWS THEY ALWAYS MINDED THERE O
somanyhrsheykiss: WN BUSINUSE
giantsfan97: except they made the germans poor
giantsfan97: so the germans killed them
somanyhrsheykiss: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
giantsfan97: they stole the germans money
giantsfan97: look it up on the interwebs
somanyhrsheykiss: 6;000000 Jews kids were killed oof hunger thirst i n the holovcoust while they were in the consentration
somanyhrsheykiss: camp which ann frank did in wiht her family
somanyhrsheykiss: COUSE OF U PEPL
giantsfan97: the holocaust was made up
giantsfan97: it didnt happen
somanyhrsheykiss: IF YOU ARE SO SMART WAT DOES UNCOUTH ME
giantsfan97: look it up on the interwebs
giantsfan97: i dont know what uncouths you
giantsfan97: thats between you and your rabbi
somanyhrsheykiss: MY GRANDPARENTS WENT THREW IT AND IF U LOOK AT THERE ARMS ULL SE A STAMP THAT THEY GADE THEM WHILE THERE WERE IM THE CAMP
giantsfan97: a stamp? like on a letter
giantsfan97: did you lick it?
somanyhrsheykiss: NO
somanyhrsheykiss: LIKE ON UR HAND LIKE A TTATO
giantsfan97: a taco?
giantsfan97: like from mexico
giantsfan97: you eat it
giantsfan97: om nom nom
somanyhrsheykiss: IF YOU SAID WE WEREE DUMB WELL YOU, ARE VERY UNCOUTH TO SAY THAT AND YOU R INFERIOR AND RELUCTANT TO ME SO BEAT THAT
somanyhrsheykiss: KK
somanyhrsheykiss:

somanyhrsheykiss:

somanyhrsheykiss: :-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X
somanyhrsheykiss: OK
somanyhrsheykiss: KK
giantsfan97: KKK?
somanyhrsheykiss: I AM BLOCKING U
giantsfan97: you are racist against black people
somanyhrsheykiss: AND WARN YOU ON AIM
giantsfan97: i blocked you first
somanyhrsheykiss signed off at 2:46:27 PM.

by **Nik** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:00 pm

This makes it for me:

somanyhrsheykiss: IF YOU SAID WE WEREE DUMB WELL YOU, ARE VERY UNCOUTH TO SAY THAT AND YOU R INFERIOR AND RELUCTANT TO ME SO BEAT THAT

Stop being reluctant to her, Gif. Jeez.

by **jvcc** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 4:57 pm

I liked this the best:
somanyhrsheykiss: i will on ly be ur loved 1 if u convert to Jewdiisem

You should totally convert to Jewdiisem because their are some Jews who call themselves Christians right mimiheart?

by **EvilJekyll** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:02 pm

I laughed. I need some people like this to IM me.

by **MysticalDescent** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 7:34 pm

I only talk to Lollards.

by **Skimba** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:15 pm

I want to know what is happening to the children's vocabulary and rickin'-frackin' WORD skills.
I want to stab that fifth-grader in the head.
And give Gif a hug.

by **chrismachine** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:25 pm

I have some pretty smart kids who habitually spell like that.

by **JenX** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:21 pm

Here are some rebuttals I gave to a couple of AOL SpIMmers a few years ago:

pam 988882: Click Here! Hustler, Playboy, and Penthouse named this as the #1 hardcore site on the internet. It has tons of pics, LIVE video feeds, and MUCH more. CLICK HERE to see!!
Capella57: Naah...I'd rather see...LIVE HELL CAM!!! 24 hour footage of screaming bodies, angry souls, and bubbling excrement!!!! www.hellcam.com
Capella57: or...LIVE COLOR BARS!!! 24 hours a day! Now you don't have to wait for your TV to go off...just come here!!!! www.live-color-bars.com
Capella57: or howbout: ROADKILL CAM!!! Watch it as it happens! Our underground crew canvasses the earth for live roadkill footage...Only WE bring it to you first...Visit the archives, amateurs, the roadkill graves and much more! www.roadkill-cam.com

GoodDtiMe GaLLL: HAVE IT ALL!!! Click HERE for LIVE NUDE WOMEN! Tons of the most recent HARDCORE Pics! DON'T WAIT!! Click NOW!
Capella57: why would I want that?
Capella57: why have that when I can have...LIVE PAINT DRYING!!! www.paintdry.com
Capella57: or wookie sex! www.wookiesex.com
Capella57: or naked elephants! www.xxxelephants.com
Capella57: or cell mutation! www.cellsplit.com
Capella57: or live flower fertilizing! www.pollinate.com

by **EvilJekyll** » Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:37 pm

I'm surprised pollinate.com isn't a real site.

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