I posted this on my facebook and tagged a lot of spamusers in it, but since Giantsfan brought up this thread and not everyone here is fb friends with me, I'll repost it here:
Today I received a text message; a seemingly insignificant text message. Many things of great importance usually begin in a deceptively unassuming manner . When I responded to the simple hail of "Whuts up" from an unknown number, I was not aware that I was entering into a web of confusion that would spiral ever downward into the unspeakable insanity of slightly uncomfortable social situations from which you cannot extricate yourself. But I'm getting ahead of myself; let us begin at what a reasonable person might call the most appropriate place: the beginning.
Stranger: Whuts up
Me: Who is this?
Stranger: Its me how r u?
Me: I'm good, but pronouns do little in the way of explaining if I don't know what the noun they're referring to is. Who is "me"?
Stranger: u still dont no its me we havent talket in a liittle bit
Me: That could be a hundred different people; you'll need to elaborate further.
Stranger: U no my sister
Me: Oh, that helps, because I only know one person who has a sister.
Stranger: Ur sisterinlaws brother
Stranger: Do u no me now?how r u doing
Me: I'm not married. [i.e., I don't have a sister-in-law.]
Stranger: I no your not u r a girl right around 33 years old?
Me: 20. I'm fairly certain you have the wrong number.
Stranger: U a girl?
Me: Yes, but not the specific girl you're looking for.
Stranger: U live in rockford
Me: Why don't you tell me the name of the person you're looking for?
Stranger: Whut u dont wont 2 talk?im 30 years old live in rockfard area did i say something 2 piss u off?i think the person i was looking 4 got new#
Stranger: U still there?
Stranger: MY name is rob whuts yours?
Stranger: I no its u angala this is your #
So as you can see this person--"Rob", if you will--either believes that through persistence I will suddenly become "Angala", or he doesn't care if I am her or not.
You might now being saying to yourself, "Yes, Kelsey, this is an amusing narrative, and charmingly told, but what has it to do with me?" Well, gentle reader, I have a challenge for you. I have exhausted my rhetorical abilities in subtly mocking "Rob", but that must not let us stop him from being mocked. If you have anything you want me to text him, leave it in the form of a comment, and I'll let you know how he responds.
Happy trolling, my friends.
ntw3001 wrote:you can't get raped if you always say yes