NON-Amusing News Articles

[Nyperold]

The last survivor of the sinking of the RMS Lusitania died today. She was 3 months old when it was sunk, and came out of it less two sisters.

[mrgazpacho]

"Man Caught Eating Baby"

http://www.smh.com.au/world/man-caught- ... 1ahch.html

[Judas Maccabeus]

The last survivor of the sinking of the RMS Lusitania died today. She was 3 months old when it was sunk, and came out of it less two sisters.

dang the Hun, getting their last blow in nearly a century after their empire fell. We must rearm and send the Doughboys over there! Dismantle the Ottoman Empire! Independence for the Polish nation! Alsace-Lorraine back to France!

[jvcc]

It's not really news, but here are some interesting pictures of the U.S.'s snowpocalypse 2011.


This one, aside from making me thankful that I wasn't driving into Chicago that day, looks like what I imagine the scenery of AMC's The Walking Dead will be if they're up north once winter hits.

[PonderThis]

Well, we haven't seen her since 2009 but I hope reo1 is OK!

[Binkatron5000]

She's a New Zealander I presume?


Unrelated Edit:
Not a news article per se, but not very amusing nonetheless:
This... this is... oh dear lord! "The kitchen faucet's had low water pressure for months. Today I unscrewed the head and found out why..." (NOT SAFE FOR LIFE but click it anyways!)

(Originally shared with reddit here)

[PonderThis]

She's a New Zealander I presume?

Yeah I checked out the who's from New Zealand page.

...but click it anyways!

Noooooo you can't make me!

Srsly, I ain't gonna click it.

[Binkatron5000]

...but click it anyways!

Noooooo you can't make me!

Srsly, I ain't gonna click it.

Aren't you curious?

[IanC]

WTS is that poopcakes?

[Skimba]

It looks like it was going to morph into some super bug/jelly thing? Evolution in the faucet!

[chrismachine]

I have NO idea what that is...

[jvcc]

It just looks like gunk with the a crushed up earwig in it to me.

[Binkatron5000]

To think he was washing dishes, washing hands, drinking, etc from that tap. I *really* want to check the faucets here now, but I also really do NOT want to at the same time.

[sum yun gai]

definition of irony

[quetzalcoatlus]

This was kind of interesting, especially because it includes a tool that allows you to plug in an actor or director's name and see a graph of their films' receptions on rotten tomatoes (or pick more than one and compare them). Because I've been watching every Nicolas Cage movie (which I'm actually nearly done with), he was the first person I plugged in, and I was pretty amused by the completely unpredictable zig zag that is his career:


If you're curious, the two highest rated films are Moonstruck and Face/Off, and the one with 0% is Deadfall (which is a kind of generic, cheap-looking crime thriller that's highlighted by a Cage performance that's insane even for him).

[IanC]

He certainly has a lot of highs and a lot of lows.

[jvcc]

What about Raising Arizona? That is a good film.

A comedic writer once described Nic Cage as being the only actor who is actively trying to ruin his career with the roles he chooses, which is both amusing and accurate.

[PonderThis]

This perfectly normal news story is about some bank robbers who just got caught after a chase and shoot out. Because the three robbers happen to be siblings — a woman and her two brothers — I couldn't help but think the woman should start introducing herself, "Hi, I'm Bonnie; this is my brother Clyde, and this is my other brother Clyde."

[Judas Maccabeus]

This perfectly normal news story is about some bank robbers who just got caught after a chase and shoot out. Because the three robbers happen to be siblings — a woman and her two brothers — I couldn't help but think the woman should start introducing herself, "Hi, I'm Bonnie; this is my brother Clyde, and this is my other brother Clyde."

...That would be kind of disturbing, considering one of the things the real Bonnie and Clyde got up to.

[Zombie Protestor]

New Jersey Store Refuses to Sell Wedding Dress to Lesbian

I did a check online and since this story aired, their rating on just about every "rate this business" type website has been shot. They have a Facebook page too, although it looks like the page was created by the former owner, not the current.

[EvilJekyll]

It would be south jersey.

[badplantmommy]

Maybe they were saving the dress for that Snooki chick.

[James]

The subject of the story is sad and definitely worthy of coverage, but I have to say I found the use of second-person narrative contrived and distracting.

[fanelian]

Some time ago, my brother was complaining about his wife not "being able" to pick up the phone and make arrangements for catering for their daughter's party, or call the fumigation service or the plumber or whatever, and how she always wanted him to do it instead. His complaint was that she is, after all, a Human Resources manager and is used to deal with service providers and negotiate and what not.

And I told him that, well... she must be tired of doing that by the time she gets home, don't you think?

[PonderThis]

Man loses his head in domestic dispute.

I did not laugh at that. Nope. Not me. That would've been wrong. No laughing!!